[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Miss The Raindots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 643
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1042

       I have no explanation. It's not about Tony. That's all I got...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMiss The Raindots

    A beautiful morning is dawning,
    The sun chasing the shadows of the night.
    The sky is that perfect pallet of colors
    There isn't a cloud in sight.
    The day promises to be cheerful and warm,
    The sun mocking any bit of pain
    Everyone rejoices at the blue sky,
    But I miss the rain.

    The sky is clear, and the birds break into song.
    I want the lightning and the thunder.
    I need a violent wind to toss the waves
    And threaten to pull me under.
    I crave the fierceness of a storm
    A downpour that soaks me to the bone
    I want trees to blow and branches to break
    I want a tragedy unlike any ever known.

    The birds cotinue to twitter
    And the flowers begin to bloom
    The sun chases away all the shadows,
    And attempts to dispell the gloom.
    My world is tumbling around my ears
    And the weather will not take the blame.
    The perfection magnifies my solitude,
    And god, I miss the rain.

    Submitted on 2006-02-01 13:43:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this also! To be perfectly honest...this piece reminded me of a grouchy old man who never wants anything good or happy to happen. I know that's not what it's about but that's the first thing that popped into my mind. lol. I'm actually very confused about what this is about. I've had a few different ideas about this so would you mind telling me? But I like the wording and the way it was written. It's fun using metaphors with your poem. It's amazing with what something could represent! I could think of many things. Were you talking about the weather or were you actually using metaphors? I could see how both would work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. I absoutly loved how you ended a few of the stanzas with 'I miss the rain.' And the very last line when you encorperated the word 'God'. I really got a sense of you longing there. I also like that this is not about Tony. A bit refreshing if you know what I mean. The flow in this poem was wonderful. It had a lot of good imagry. When you described how everything that happened when the rain stopped, the birds and the flowers, ect. I could see it all in my head. A medow where it is raining and they all of a sudden it stops, and the animals begin to creep out and the sun starts to shine and whites out all of the gloomy black clouds, and the the chipper little blue birds and robins flyabout and they are just singing away. And then oyu miss the rain. It is a very elegant poem and I like it a lot. Very good job, dear cousin.
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      I truly think that this is one of the best poems that you have ever written...this poem right here speaks volumes about you, it really is awesome...I think that you are the coolest person n the world today and I need you cause, like I have already said granny is gone and I need you to comfort me.pwease.
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an incredible write
    My Friend I have a love affair with a good rain and then a good storm
    I feel the rain washes away all fears and negativitys and then deposits a sunshine to seal the good feeling we now have
    I truefully enjoyed this
    Great Write!
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome! This was a delight to read in many ways...metaphorically and...ummm...that other word that doesnt mean metaphorically, ya know?

    I get like that too towards the end of the summer. The birds and all that happy type sunshiny stuff is nice, but a good rain storm is just as nice too.

    Another very fine read from you. High five!
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Push written by JanePlane
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]