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Two Wrongs (revised)

Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 672
Class/Type: Story /Passion
Total Views: 873
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2734


okay i revised it so be happy..actually i just added on to it but same difference. Anyways comment and tell me what you think. Just so you know this is all fiction. And as it continues some of what i write won't excatly be PG so yea. Anyways comment.


Two Wrongs (revised)

All that passed through Danielle's mind as she walked into her apartment was damn. She dropped the keys on the kitchen counter and dropped down on her couch rubbing her temples. Her hazel eyes were red and puffy and she was mad enough to kill somebody.
Two hours before she was at her boyfriend's condo since it was is nineteenth birthday. She was cooking and talking to him when there was a knock on the door. His roomate answered it and in came Stacy. Stacy and Danielle were cool since they were young. That would mostly be because they were first cousins. Stacy was five foot five and a half and had a choclate brown skin. Her hair stopped at her waist and her eyes were choclate brown. She was wearing a white sundress and white open toe sandles that showed of her pedicured toes. Danielle on the other hand was five foot one and a half and had honey brown skin and hazel eyes that turned green everyonce in a while. She had a slender figure but was thick in all the right places. She was wearing a black baby phat halter top and blue baby phat jeans with black airforces.
"What's wrong with you cousin?" she asked with a slight frown on her face.
"Danni, i'm sorry."
Danielle's thoughts were interrupted when her phone began to ring. she sighed and said under her breath, "That is too fucked up."
She looked at the caller I.D. and sighed in relief at the number before picking up the phone.
Amber wasted no time in grilling her, "Where the fuck are you, i mean seriously it's your mans birthday and you aren't here to support him."
"Amber, he slept with Stacy," Danielle replied after a couple of minutes had past.
"Oh hell no, you want me to kick his ass for you?"
Danielle laughed and said, "No. I already tried to kill him, you kicking his ass won't help much."
"What did you do?"
"Lets just say, i was chopping onions with a butcher knife when Stacy was coming clean."
Amber laughed and said, "You want me to come over?"
"Yea call Lekeia and Dacia, we could go out just like old times."
"Okay Chica i'm on my way."
"Bye Amby," said Danielle calling her by the name that she's called her since middle school.
"Bye, Danni."

Submitted on 2006-02-01 15:50:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  well at least it's not pg. however it does still need some work. it' choppy and though the pont is put across it's kinda thrown out there then wirlwinded back in. you kinda loose the reaser after the cousins. I get it, but it doesn't read easy, also maybe try some metaphors, more descriptions, and synonyms.
| Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  did ur cousin cheat [censored] ur boyfriend? i hope that this is just a story. yeah i like air forces too. they're the [censored]. yeah. danni shoulda beat her cousin's ass. that [censored] is unacceptable
| Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

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