Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Grannydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 827
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1060



    Description:
       My granny died.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrannydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I knew that this day would come
    I knew that you were only human and that your beauty would fade someday
    but it doesn't stop me from hurting
    it can't take away the pain
    and I always thought that I had just a little more time
    more time to tell you how much I loved you

    And when the phone rang this morning,
    I knew that you were gone
    and I couldn't cry
    couldn't really believe
    that I could never say goodbye like you needed me to

    And I remembered
    one night that I sat beside your bed
    and I told you that I loved you and that I wouldn't let you die alone
    and I failed
    and I don't know how
    but you slipped away without me
    and I can't stop feeling how cold your hands were that night
    and I can't stop remembering when you asked me to hold you
    when you opened your eyes and smiled

    and I know, but I just can't believe
    that you are gone now




    Submitted on 2006-02-02 12:51:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is so pretty, much prettier than the one I worte about Myrtle. It's so heartfelt and genuine. I can't write death poems too well, I think because no one close to me has ever died. And maybe I'd like to keep it that way...
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      made me think about my granny . . . sniff sniff. i liked it a lot. you're a good writer. alrighty then. that's about it. i guess i have to type more. yeah - good piece of writing.
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      This is subject a whole bunch of people can relate to. Death is a very painful part of life... This poem really made me see the relationship you had with your granny. I didn't know much about it. And this poem was just vey sad. It reminded me of Mamaw, it is funny, I didn't write about it when she died. Even now I cannot write about it. I don't know why. And I remember that Derrick didn't cry when Mamaw died.
    This poem was wonderfully written. I really liked the flo, it didn't really rhyme, but it worked wonderfully together. It had very soft edges. This poem was wonderful becasue it communticates a feeling very well. The sadness and regret that you felt and letting her die alone, or for not getting to say good bye a last time. But you did not let her die alone. And she knew that you loved her very much. And still she knows that, Jaz.
    Anyway, this was a very wonderful poem. I liked it a lot. It was like your older poetry. It had that non-rhyming, crazy poetice Jazmine spark to it. Ya know what I mean? I miss your old poetry.
    But yes very good job here. This poem really made m feel what you did [or at least some version of it] when you wrote it. And that makes it special. Very good job, Jaz.

    ...Apollonia
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very sweet. you know the fact that you told her you wanted to be there when she died was enough for her.
    my mom died january 5th this year and i had the chance to tell her how much i really loved her. thats all she needed to hear.so i'm sure she was happy that she got to hear it from you.I'M VERY SORRY THAT YOU LOST HER.
    i
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
      A great homage to your grandmother... Pure and straight from the heart, as all poetry should be. Not to worry about structure , rythem or metre an emotional piece as this needs none. My most heartfelt condolances for your loss.

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderfull poem,in fact, its quite a bit like one I wrote to MY granny,I havent yet had a chance to post it,but when I do,ill let you know.
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Texan_Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      it's avery good write and / i wished that i had a granny to talk to .../. but i never knew mine .../. yes death is a sad and depth time - it is also a time of strongness .../. the will to go on .../. just like you said ( about the emotions)
    it was a lovely write none the less and i always enjoy your writings ...

    janus
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    89807

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry