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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flamesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: withblindedeyez
    ASL Info:    19/m/nc
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 83/121/58
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1077
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 760



    Description:
       I was hating this bitch


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlamesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These Flames Will Engulf You,
    And Your Screams Will Never Be Heard,
    You'll Die Here With No One,
    And I'll Enjoy Watching You...
    I’ll watch as the flesh melts
    And the bones dissolve….
    As you roll on the floor and scream
    With the utmost agony, I’ll laugh
    And scream at you, you deserve this
    You bitch, Die with your blasphemy…
    Die with your fucking hypocrisy…
    I hope you feel every vein that bust
    Every drop of blood,
    Every tear that falls to the floor
    This isn’t enough pain u need more
    You downright selfish fucking whore
    Tonight your burn in the fires of hell
    And I’ll laugh as your ashes blow across
    The Floor…




    Submitted on 2006-02-02 22:36:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm. i dunno. i like it but it seems like youre just lashing out with random phrases that sound impressive.. it would be better if you wrote it to be more personal.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the swearing was good. it was abrasive and unsettling, it really fitted the piece. Alot of anger but expressed in a violently passionate way. The repetitive punch of each line is great except the first four which i felt didn't fit aswell.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Universal | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this poem was THEE SHIT! I SAY GREAT WRITE..THE SWEARING I DONT THINK ITS CHILDish AT ALL THATS HOW YOU FEEL AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THAT..GOOD SHIT Bro Good SHIT!
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Yella_Bone05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very detestive, which is excellently displayed throughout the poem. Mind you, there was some swearing and upper-class describing words mixed together which made the poem sound really mature but childish, where the swearing comes in. the swearing is fine, just moderate it a little. Overall, poem shows beautiful, passionate potential.
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by sapphire109 | [ Reply to This ]


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