Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blemishdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swanne
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 258/206/43
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 573



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlemishdots
    -------------------------------------------



    I regret,
    I never licked it with my dirty tongue
    Or traced my soft fingers along the jagged edges
    Of that awkward scar

    You remained,
    All shadows and controversy,
    As I stumbled into uncertainty
    On that fateful night

    I begged,
    And you withdrew as my flesh burned
    Covered my face with you large hands
    Ashes still linger

    You healed,
    My open wounds still bubble and fester
    They may never mend or look as glorious
    As your lovely scar




    Submitted on 2006-02-03 01:26:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Blemish is an apt title, i like the structure - I You, I, You, ur stanza startings, its almost like its a game where u take turns, although at a deeper level it wouldn;t be all that fun...
    well written...maybe you could continue, elaborate a bit about how you feel after this, which can be a piece on its own...
    nice...keeps me thinking...
    peace,
    Mihir
    | Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this is a work that makes one think Whatever it is that scarred you I hope your wounds heal. And remember there is always someone who cares for you.

    much LOVE
    James
    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi my friend,
    I had looked at this a while back and couldn't think of anything 'cute' to say. But I figure that its about one of the guys in Green Grass. I just hope that you are not wishing that the other one would make like Vincent De Flare and...

    This poem certainly makes the point that a blemish can be beautiful, but so can a stubby or charred toe!
    Have a great day, I've got to go to work.
    Donn

    ps.
    I'm also doing a suicide poem for DeepDreamers contest, better sharpen your quill.
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a simple, thoughtful piece.
    It seemed to me that you were thinking of why his scars (either physical or emotional) were seen as "assets" (people feel that it enhances his image) while your own would be seen as "imperfections" or blemishes where you so nicely named your poem.
    Perhaps your relationship with each other were hurting both of you, but to the third party, it might seem to be a sorta like "Battle scar" for him, only making him more desirable...
    Lorna's interpretation of your poem also came to my mind, though I personally read the poem this way... ;)
    Very nicely done. *thumbs up*
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by unREMb | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good expression of feelings. Your poem is well written with lots of hidden meaning. To me, this reads as a very sad heartbroken poem. A lost relationship. You speak of two people, one of which has resolved their feelings for the other and moved on and the other has not and remains with unresolved feelings. The final stanza is good. It says, in my interpretation, that the lovely scar is you and the signifies the mark you left on his heart. Your pain is still real and the open wounds are a metaphor for the sadness your heart still feels. This is a well written longing poem. Welcome to elite. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...

    The first stanza is just perfection. It creates so many images and raises questions.
    "I regret,/ I never licked it with my dirty tongue/ Or traced my soft fingers along the jagged edges/ Of that awkward scar"

    But I am still wondering what happened. It seems so personal I don't even want to guess but there are so many possibilities.

    It's just wonderful.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Janelle | [ Reply to This ]
      One of those poems you can't leave alone without fully understanding. Was there an accident? A conflict thereafter? And his LOVELY scar.. What does it all mean! :) Mind cluing me in on your poem? I'm quite intrigued.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by shatila | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, a little puzzle that asks the reader to solve, not bad at all.

    Nice bit of rhythm in there, it reads very easily, it's purely the interpretation that is enigmatic...

    scar...? the scar of the feelings that he started burning in you?

    That would be my pick, but I do like a poem that is open to various interpretations

    well done

    Be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.