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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Back Againdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chrls
    ASL Info:    43/m/louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 43/56/16
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 945



    Description:
       My wife and I were separated for a year, but are now back together happier than ever. This is a song that I wrote to express how I felt.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBack Againdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We went our separate ways
    into dark and lonely days
    Could I make it through?

    When we said our last good bye
    There was a teardrop in my eye
    I knew that Iíd miss you

    With my emotions wearing thin
    I felt my life was at an end
    Iíve got to have you back again

    Every time I turn around, I can see you
    When Iím dreaming in the night
    itís you I run to
    Canít you see inside me?
    Iíve got to have you back again

    We played the game for too damn long
    My heart knew it was wrong
    Did you feel the same?

    When you knocked upon my door
    I was scared, but now Iím sure
    That Iíve got you back again

    Every time I turn around, I can see you
    When Iím dreaming in the night
    itís you I run to
    Canít you see inside me?
    Now I have you back again




    Submitted on 2006-02-03 09:48:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very reminiscent of an Indian poet called Nissim Ezekiel.. He wrote with subtle words and hardly ever bandied them.. Your usage of work reminds me of him. You were very forward and direct in this poem, and I must say, it's something you have written after almost having lost something you treasure so much that your existence depended on it..
    Overall, it's very honest..
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by innuendo | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm happy that you and your wife are trying to work things out. A lot of people don't nowadays and true loves are lost.
    This was a nice, sentimental dedication and lyrically I had a nice soft guitar in my head accompanying the read.
    Great!
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      The really good thing about your poem is that earnesty is oozing out from it. That's great! Only that the ending is quite predictable, but it takes the reader off guard because there was no hint wheresoever..if only you could put more subtle hints as you go along the poem, making the ideas conveyed in the poem less humdrum and more ranged in to the finale, because the poem leaves the reader somewhat dissatisfied.
    The yearning is there..empower your words. And more power to you! :)
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by shatila | [ Reply to This ]
      It's so deeo. When I listen to music, I get wrapped up in the tune more than the actual lyrics. When they are read without the music, they breath-taking. For this, breath-taking is an understatement. I can relate to this with a break up I had one time. I can't find anything that can be made better. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by sapphire109 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is something that really has great flow to it better than some of the lyrics i have read. i hope you and your wife have a great time together. like they always say true love last and never dies.
    ~peace~ becka
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by boo boo | [ Reply to This ]


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