Very reminiscent of an Indian poet called Nissim Ezekiel.. He wrote with subtle words and hardly ever bandied them.. Your usage of work reminds me of him. You were very forward and direct in this poem, and I must say, it's something you have written after almost having lost something you treasure so much that your existence depended on it.. Overall, it's very honest..
I'm happy that you and your wife are trying to work things out. A lot of people don't nowadays and true loves are lost. This was a nice, sentimental dedication and lyrically I had a nice soft guitar in my head accompanying the read. Great! Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share tif
The really good thing about your poem is that earnesty is oozing out from it. That's great! Only that the ending is quite predictable, but it takes the reader off guard because there was no hint wheresoever..if only you could put more subtle hints as you go along the poem, making the ideas conveyed in the poem less humdrum and more ranged in to the finale, because the poem leaves the reader somewhat dissatisfied. The yearning is there..empower your words. And more power to you! :)
It's so deeo. When I listen to music, I get wrapped up in the tune more than the actual lyrics. When they are read without the music, they breath-taking. For this, breath-taking is an understatement. I can relate to this with a break up I had one time. I can't find anything that can be made better. Keep up the good work.
wow this is something that really has great flow to it better than some of the lyrics i have read. i hope you and your wife have a great time together. like they always say true love last and never dies. ~peace~ becka