[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Back Againdots

    Author: chrls
    ASL Info:    43/m/louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 43/56/16
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 945

       My wife and I were separated for a year, but are now back together happier than ever. This is a song that I wrote to express how I felt.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBack Againdots

    We went our separate ways
    into dark and lonely days
    Could I make it through?

    When we said our last good bye
    There was a teardrop in my eye
    I knew that Iíd miss you

    With my emotions wearing thin
    I felt my life was at an end
    Iíve got to have you back again

    Every time I turn around, I can see you
    When Iím dreaming in the night
    itís you I run to
    Canít you see inside me?
    Iíve got to have you back again

    We played the game for too damn long
    My heart knew it was wrong
    Did you feel the same?

    When you knocked upon my door
    I was scared, but now Iím sure
    That Iíve got you back again

    Every time I turn around, I can see you
    When Iím dreaming in the night
    itís you I run to
    Canít you see inside me?
    Now I have you back again

    Submitted on 2006-02-03 09:48:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very reminiscent of an Indian poet called Nissim Ezekiel.. He wrote with subtle words and hardly ever bandied them.. Your usage of work reminds me of him. You were very forward and direct in this poem, and I must say, it's something you have written after almost having lost something you treasure so much that your existence depended on it..
    Overall, it's very honest..
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by innuendo | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm happy that you and your wife are trying to work things out. A lot of people don't nowadays and true loves are lost.
    This was a nice, sentimental dedication and lyrically I had a nice soft guitar in my head accompanying the read.
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      The really good thing about your poem is that earnesty is oozing out from it. That's great! Only that the ending is quite predictable, but it takes the reader off guard because there was no hint wheresoever..if only you could put more subtle hints as you go along the poem, making the ideas conveyed in the poem less humdrum and more ranged in to the finale, because the poem leaves the reader somewhat dissatisfied.
    The yearning is there..empower your words. And more power to you! :)
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by shatila | [ Reply to This ]
      It's so deeo. When I listen to music, I get wrapped up in the tune more than the actual lyrics. When they are read without the music, they breath-taking. For this, breath-taking is an understatement. I can relate to this with a break up I had one time. I can't find anything that can be made better. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by sapphire109 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is something that really has great flow to it better than some of the lyrics i have read. i hope you and your wife have a great time together. like they always say true love last and never dies.
    ~peace~ becka
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by boo boo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    In a Corner written by jeniecel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]