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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kiss Of The Rosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 340



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKiss Of The Rosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nobody Understands,
    Nobody sees,
    The plead for help,
    Down on your knees.

    This blade you drag,
    Across your wrists,
    Helps you to forget,
    That you exist.

    In your room you fade,
    And heaven only knows,
    Your beautiful wrists,
    Have the kiss of the rose.




    Submitted on 2006-02-03 11:49:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice work!
    It is very simple, yet still elivers a strong feeling, the only thing I would really fix is

    In you room you fade,
    to In your room you fade,

    Other then that nice flow and vocab, ect. keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Dark Muse | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very powerful write and I really enjoyed this one a lot. Not original at all, but that's only because a lot of people write about this [censored]. Anyway, I thought your poem was beautiful in a sadisticly dark way. Which is damn awesome, for those are the kind of poems I write. Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! This one just simply blew me away! I loved this, the emotion, the flow the imagery... They were all fitted together in this so well. Post some more, I am starting to get anxious evertime you don't post a new one. This was excellently written, and I hope that you come up with more like this one! GREAT WRITE.
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. Even though it had only 3 stanzas it was still emotional and effective in painting a picture for the minds eye to see. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent last stanza, I love the quote "Your beautiful wrists,
    Have the kiss of the rose." The last two lines on the first stanza could be improved, instead of saying "The plead" you could say "You plead"
    Overall excellent atmosphere this poem stirrs.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by sapphire109 | [ Reply to This ]
      very dark and angsty...
    but I savour dark and angsty while some turn away from it..
    The middle verse was my favorite..but I would change the first verse it is somehow less poetic then the rest...doesn't grab your attention enough from the start

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]


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