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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Yer The onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LostInYerTears
    ASL Info:    14/F/Fl
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 85/86/32
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 161
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 448



    Description:
       bleep bleep bleep


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    dotsYer The onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were the one i held in my hand
    you were the one i buried in the sand
    you were the one i once adored
    you were the one i had feelings for
    you were the one who told me not to tell
    you were the one who put me through hell
    you are the one that began to cry
    you are the one going to die
    you are the one whos blood is in the rain
    you are the one we'll never see again





    Submitted on 2006-02-03 15:00:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it was an ok poem. It might have just been for you own rant to get feelings out, but as more than that, it is too repetitive for it to be that good. If you're going ot have that many lines, you have to change something about it. There were a couple of realyl good lines, but then again there were a couple that seemed stressted to rhyme.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say I like the poem also. The you are the one seems like it is overused when you first spot the poem. But after you read it you realise the flow and find a good poem to read.
    | Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
      very EMO but thats still good and it shows that you have been hurt but it seems unfinished
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Kaila Turley | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is also a good one. It seems that this one is more like a feeling of wanted revenge for pain put upon you from another, or something. I think that you are the one and you were the one is a little over used in this poem but then again at the same time seem to give the poem originality and a kind of personal signature.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Gefangen | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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