[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hatred.dots

    Author: Fat_Rob
    ASL Info:    18/m/my own hell
    Elite Ratio:    7.23 - 21/7/1
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1334

       I wrote this when my ex girlfriend talked about abortion, which is why it is soo strong. This is also my only completely freestyle poem.
    I would like to ask if anyone who commented on this poem actually read it thouroughly. Everyone asks about being in love and that shit, but read the first 7 lines!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    What a strong word.
    Never thought I would feel it,
    but today that changed.
    We had a master plan,
    and then you killed my kid.
    I wish I had the power,
    to have stopped your murder,
    but I don't.
    You should die for this,
    but you will live on.
    I hope my memory,
    will drive you insane.
    You destroyed me today,
    but you had help.
    I can't believe people get paid,
    to asist such a horror.
    It is not just you I hate,
    them too for their help.
    You don't deserve to breathe,
    you stupid whore!
    I don't wish death on my enimies,
    but I hope yours hurts.
    I walked away today,
    and you're lucky I did.
    You killed my child,
    I would have killed you.
    We both still live today,
    but I will see you in hell.
    Hatred will last,
    even when I die.
    You should have looked to the future,
    I'm going to find you again.
    An eternity of hatred,
    for a murderer.
    I should have killed you today,
    but you will get yours in time.
    I felt it for the first time today.
    I left you a note that read
    "See you again my love"
    I can hardly wait

    Submitted on 2006-02-04 03:25:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Rob, Does this poem have anything to do with me? I would like to know, because I have been pregnant with your kid before and you and I had gotten into a fight and I talked about it... I never meant it... I wouldn't do that to you... I promise that Had I ever been pregnant and was able to keep it, I would have, I would never Kill a child, That isn't right.
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Sharati_hottie | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting poem... it doesn't flow all that well, but it has alot of meaning. It's obvioulsly about abortion... and that would have been a conjoined choice if it was to be made at all. Obviously that wasn't the case... :( which is sad. For that in my opinion almost makes it a murder. as you can tell; I'm against abortion, but I believe if it is an absolute nessecity it's an option. You should have stated the facts a bit clearer. Was it a rape, was it a love, were you married to this woman or just living together...?
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Im against abortion and everything, but think how terrifed your girlfriend is. She got pregnant,her life has to go on hold. She probably had plans to make it big, and now they are shaddered when she tested positive. If your plans are put on hold to take care of a child, that you aren't prepare for, would you just wish the child would disappear. You can just get up and leave because your a male. The mother can't leave. You are a horrible man to think that you want your girlfriend dead. Maybe she wants you dead for inpregnanting her. You effin douche bag, I loathe men like you. good poem though.
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by atonement | [ Reply to This ]
      I FEEL HATRED TOWARDS YOU! it was her choice to have an abortion. she probably wants to live her life and you a DIRTY MALE can just leave whenever you want to go to night clubs ect. while she has to stay home and take care of a dirty baby. you say now that you wouldnt leave her but when "your child" gets on your nerves you will leave i hope you read this and change your mind ppl like you piss me off! you dont know what the hell your talking about i hope you delete this stupid poem you have no right writing it! Your red neck hillbilly attitude makes me want to kill you and everybody else like you! you probably voted for bush, huh? and is against abortion. You disgust me!

    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by nightxassassin | [ Reply to This ]
      its quite easy to picture it as you read along.over all it twas good it reminds me of seeking Vengeance and how happy the person will be when the Vengeance is served.keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by LostInYerTears | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that had so much emotion and probably pretty much the whole story on how much you hate her because she had an abortion. I think abortion is horrible, it really is murder. She'll be hurt and feel hatred towards someone in time, hopefully. Your poem really had a nice flow and I really liked it. Awesome job on letting it out
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an awesome poem, to which I can overly and totally relate, though I belive I'd shoot the [censored] if she ever aborted my kid, but that is just my personal opinion. I don't advise following my path for anyone else, prison isn't worth it, beacause in the end you are destroying 3 lives in a day, instead of just losing your child. This is almost too damned strong of a poem, but that is a good thing from my stand point. It flows by having no flow which is awesome, and even more so, due to the fact that it is written on such touchy subject in american culture to this day. One day this will be reconised, and it should be.
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Incubus written by monad
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    ME written by jjd
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]