see the wind by LostInYerTears

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Submission Name: see the wind dots

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Author:	LostInYerTears
ASL Info:	14/F/Fl
Elite Ratio:	2.42 - 85/86/32
Words:	111

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	224
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	743

Description:
i d k

see the wind dots

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See The Wind
Feel The Knives
See The Crows
Steal Yer Life

See Them Pecking
At Yer Soul
See The Blood
Fill The Hole

See The Reaper
As He Arrives
Try To Run
Try To Survive

See The Sun Burn Out
Close Yer Eyes
Cant You See
The Blood Red Skies

The Reaper Cuts Of Yer Head
Rips Out Yer Heart
Then Tears You Apart

Yer Body Is Cut Into Peices
Yer Life Will Soon End
So Sleep Tight
My Dearest Friend

But Remember....
becareful when you see the wind
and feel the knives
cause soon the grim reaper
will end yer life

Submitted on 2006-02-04 11:32:03 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Good, but the line "see the grim reaper" kinda throughs off hte measure. Why not just cut off grim? You have good word choice and it's very visual. Hope to see more.
| Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by losing_focus | [ Reply to This ]
  Rips Out Yer Heart
Puts It In A Jar

only part of the poem thats throws off the flow. Your work is estonishing I love it. The chilling fealing of emotion is fealt throughout the whole poem.
Evil Jesture
| Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
  "But Remember...
becareful when you see the wind
and feel the knives
cause soon the grim reaper
will end yer life"

OOOH chilling. I love your work. This is one for the fav. list. You have a talent that most people would kill for. Continue to develop it.
Keep up the good work,
Mike
| Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]

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