Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A lost child, A lost wishdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Silent_Tears
    ASL Info:    16/f/BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.13 - 90/111/59
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 827



    Description:
        Hey,

    A couple of days ago I started to search for my old poetry book, so I can make a newer updated one. Here is some poems from the old one. I wrote this poem when I first started poetry, I'm not sure what I was feeling at the time.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA lost child, A lost wishdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Down the hall
    Stands a room
    A room empty
    empty of all
    All thought, all feeling

    A dark room
    A barred window
    A concrete floor
    A single cot
    A locked door

    In the corner
    Lays a child
    Lost in the cold
    Whispers of life
    Fad away

    Splashes of light
    Bring past hope
    Split seconds
    Of what is gone
    Jagged lines across the sill

    Nobody notices
    The room, locked
    Nobody notices
    A lost child
    Lost in the darkness

    A last breath
    A last hope
    A last thought
    A last choice

    A child with one wish
    A wish to be found
    On last wish
    But a whisper in the air
    A forgotton whisper




    Submitted on 2006-02-04 11:47:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very interesting.. to me it sounds like the hall could be a mind.. and the child is lost in her mind waiting to be rescued. Its a sad poem and I think the emotion is there.. good job especially for one of your first poems.
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by Cassius | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    90053

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fasade written by jackz
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Love written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Yes written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Carry written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry