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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: poetry chica
    ASL Info:    17/f/usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 93/98/34
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 785
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607

       idk i was in a really depressed mood when i wrote this and sry i havn't posted in so long but i'm back now so yea....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Bury me alive
    Take me from this pain
    Bury me alive
    And Iíll take all the blame

    I want to be buried
    Away from you and I
    I want to be buried
    Kept safe from the lies

    I want to be 6 feet under
    Thatís where Iíll find my peace
    I want to be 6 feet under
    Bury me please.

    Never to feel pain
    Not in this place
    Never to feel pain
    No tears on my face

    Here I'm over you
    You canít harm me
    Here I'm over you
    Itís where I'm meant to be

    Submitted on 2006-02-04 19:49:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, but to me, it was kinda average. Something that you hear all the time, almost like your grandparents same-ol-same-ol speaches about "back in the day". It was good, but definately not original. Keep writing though, I want to see more of your work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      nice work, i like it. i like your rhyme scheme, using the same line twice puting more emphasis on the other two lines. it's dark, but i like dark ^_-
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by Blazing Eclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece makes me feel i little sad . it makes me think of a woman being misstreated . i know the feeling of wanting to die of all the pain inside , but i hope that you really don't feel this way inside . your writiing is very moving and i believe there is more inside you than this pain . i would love to read more !
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by DonKB | [ Reply to This ]

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