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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Flooded Seasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ratboy
    ASL Info:    17/Male/South Slocan B.C.
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 50/73/22
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Flooded Seasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I fray from tension, weapons,
    Wear, or sorry chance to static,
    Tear my thread from solid things
    To hear the sounds the Quiet sing,
    I wonder will my senses bring
    This world before me, ere my thoughts
    Are tossed, forever lost to dead
    So all that sought for, sifted, spent,
    And fought for sink to join the flooded
    Muses of a fellow Dreamer's Sea.




    Submitted on 2006-02-04 21:36:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Through the turmoil of an unsteady mind comes the calmness to me. Heh, weird, I know. But it comforted me, in some strange way. Maybe because I know what it feels like to have conflicting emotions...don't we all, heh. I am so ver glad I opened this one up and read it. I was feeling bad because I hadn't read anything of yours in a long time. Now I am just glad I read this.

    Isn't it fun living in your mind? Nothing can harm you but your own thoughts...though that in itself can be devistating, but at least it is at no fault but your own...I'm afraid I have lost myself in this comment...I don't really understand what I am saying anymore...Maybe I should erase it all. I'm not going to because I really did like this poem. Even if I didn't show that well...at least I said just that a couple times. For such a strong poem to get such a weak comment, I am sorry. I will hang my head in shame!

    But I will still be smiling because I am happy today and I really liked this poem!

    Bon
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this in the fact that you try and find time to listen to life and not just live it day to day.

    a dreamers world is it
    to listen to the voice,
    of the natural around us,
    for we never have a choice.
    instinct for those of us,
    that finely tune the ear,
    that listen as life goes by
    from year to year.

    Dax
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by dax | [ Reply to This ]
      It could be that this piece requires more concentration than I currently have at my disposal but it seemed to me that the focus was so much on rhyme that your lines of thought came across as cryptic puzzles. If the use of poetic devices such as rhyme and rhythm distort the message then it may be better to attempt the poem in freeverse.

    I felt it was a shame because I sense there's a strong voice waiting go get out.

    DB
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    90112

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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