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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Godeafened Yourefusedselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shatila
    ASL Info:    17/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 67/56/13
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 191
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1444



    Description:
       For former paramours
    that are beginning to freak us out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGodeafened Yourefusedselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cover.
    Cover your ears hard.
    Harder now.

    Better.

    Now curse.
    Curse like it's all you live for.
    Until your breath is nothing
    But an attempt at a second chance

    The fifth time around.

    Content?
    Lightyears far from, you said.
    Tell me something I don't already know.
    (Oh and keep your grip on
    Those paltering, masturbating ears)

    As I carry on..
    Like I have for the longest, most viable subsistence.

    I have never uttered the same words more times
    Than when they were for your understanding
    Instead
    They pass you straight into
    A ravine
    Of cold waters
    And deeper wounds.
    They always have.
    And your unwaiving denials
    Now prove they still do.

    You

    Stand furious and proud
    Outside my closed door
    But unlocked it always has been
    My choice
    That which you know only so well.
    Defend!
    Proclaim your innocence!
    Until you foam at the mouth
    Arm yourself
    With my so-called transgressions!
    I cannot care any less
    Nor any more.


    Before you go please
    Wait
    Until your ears
    Bleed and explode from the pressure.
    The only thing I ever refused from you.




    Submitted on 2006-02-05 12:41:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      "I have never uttered the same words more times
    Than when they were for your understanding"

    I love this line. I've felt this way on more than one occassion. It completely brings me into the whole poem making me want to read it again to see if there is more.

    The bolded stanzas in the middle really delineate the true feeling of the piece. It makes it clear that here you are saying why you're so angry, whereas at the beginning and the end you're saying what you'd like to happen to the object of said anger. At least, this is the way I read it.

    The last line is perfect, because it still closes with a question. Almost as if you're waiting for a reason to forgive.
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Onichan | [ Reply to This ]
      thu out this poem, i could feel your anger toward this significant person. eventho i cant nessicarily relate..
    i dont know the the specific reasons for this breakup however its nature is clear... it sounds like there was alot of sarcasm & being obnoxious taking place... all the syptoms of a "communication breakdown" .
    the failed attempts to "breakthru" and finding yurself where u started from..
    sucks.
    and then u scream "bloody murder" but this guy is a rock. a freakin jawbreaker. hehe.. anyway, forgive my rambling.. getting back to the poem..
    i like how u fused togather the title... im glad i wasn't able to make complete sence of it.. however.. nice work. later.
    sarah
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by vohomegirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is amazingly powerful, I think this is a piece that needs to be almost performed, or at minimum read aloud by the author. The tone of voice, and passion behind each syllable will make it more clear the depth within these meaningless objects. I think I understand this piece, it could use some minor revision for clarification, but don't change what you feel.

    Cheers
    Tom
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]



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