i really like this poem. the rhyme was good. it was short and sweet but you got your point across really well. if this is about you then im sorry you had to go through but i think everyone does eventually. i did. also my boyfriend thinks its very nice to and hes not into poetry! you commented on so many of my poems that i thought i should repay the favor. good job! -sweet
Great wording and images. Powerfull stuff. I really liked it when you said, "She will paint you a scene of serene married bliss Enslaving with charms no mere man could resist! Enjoy your day in the sun, for soon it will set: Tomorrows forecast is for pain and regretges." Just glad that im a brunette!
This poem gave me the image of a man who marries a woman only to find out that the sweet angel he married is just a cold blooded, conniving being.
Abit like the sirens that lure sailors with beautiful songs, only to enjoy the enslavery after.
"With warm words flowing from an icy land"
Very nice image here. The poem points to a northern girl. I imagined someone from scandinavia. Dunno why? Maybe the golden hair and icy land. But I like the opposition in this phrase, and the double meaning I get in icy land: her country and her heart.
"Enjoy your day in the sun, for soon it will set: Tomorrows forecast is for pain and regret"
I like your weather forecast reference here. Actually we can see it subtly running all through the poem.
Your last stanza does not give the same powerful feeling that the other 2 stanzas give. It is somehow as if u ran out of images, and had it there just to conclude your thoughts. Your last verse is a bit cliché and the rhyme does not run as smoothly as in the other stanzas.
But still the poem is well written, the rhythm flows smoothly and I like the choice of words, simple but to the point.
I am glad you stopped by my page so I can get to see your work. I will try to get back and read more of you, but I dunno if this will happen soon, because m lazy on commenting lately. cya around.
Ohhh! This is a very good poem. Lots of depth here and you tell this tale so very well with your words. Love is a strange phenomenon if you ask me. It can lift you up so high you would swear you were floating but then at a moments notice, slam you down to the ground in a most painful way. Sometimes I wonder if love is worth the risk you take. I guess if you find the right one, then the answer would be yes, but that road is just a damn long one. I think you have done a great job with this poem. I can only wonder who rated this one a 2. They obviously dont know good poetry when they read it and if I could vote for this I would but for some stupid reason only one vote is allowed. Anyway, this is very good. Take care.
AHAHAHA shes canadian... i was down in austrailia recently..good time it was good tho, try to stay light hearted, and you lift the hearts around you... Adding the picture increased its "imagery" lol your heart'll write nd my eyes'll read! keep em comin..
Well, for one, you got a GREAT rhythm. A+ for you, lol. I envy ppl with a rhythm, lol. ANWAY...Well...the title definitely goes w/the poem. And if i was a guy, she would sound very tempting...but i'm not...so i envy the chick ur talkin' about in ur poem, lol. Here's my fave part :
She’ will poison your mind, lead you off by the hand With warm words flowing from an icy land
She will paint you a scene of serene married bliss Enslaving with charms no mere man could resist!
These parts are awesome because the words are just so...um...tempting...lol. You sound very intelligent, because of the way you use your words. I really enjoyed this read and hope for another great write like this one! :) see ya later!
I really like the way you have crafted this poem... I think it needs to be read aloud. The rythem and form flow very easily, and that's nice for a reader. I suppose there's no real deeper meaning in this... just beware of beautiful temptrisses. heheh. Anyhoo, I enjoyed it.
Brilliant juxtaposition of the 'everything you want, nothing you desire' dichotomy (fatal beauty, addictive charm, cold desire; perfect!). You've hit the jackpot with this; the word choice, theme, rhythm and lineation are impeccable. This sounds so much like the cold-hearted "Snow Queen" (and every evil beauty that stalks the pages of literature), that I can sense a love monumentally sad and unrequited. Well done, my friend! Take care. Bill.