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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What We Leavedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 254



    Description:
       Just thoughts on the passing of a friend


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat We Leavedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thoughts on death:
    when we die,
    we leave it
    all behind.

    and the most
    important
    thing to leave
    is our love.

    Through it...
    we remain
    immortal
    in both worlds.




    Submitted on 2006-02-05 15:17:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What makes a loved one immortal is the memory we keep of them as time passes; a good life stands as a memorial that far outlives all our other accomplishments. What else is there to say? This reminds me of the post on softness and the particular tenderness and reverence with which loved ones treat their dead (even the body that no longer houses their essence). A very beautiful meditation on loss. Take care. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      None of us ever really leaves and yes! I so that we do live beyond our mortal span, love is the key.

    Memories of those I love who are gone come just when I need them.

    Even a bit of who I am regarding purpose resonates in this poem because I'd like to lay down a body of work for others to enjoy after I leave the planet.

    Your friend who inspired this must have been beautiful. And the other aspect is, death destroys all the useless rhetoric
    and we find what is real and important.

    Love and light,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, that was one hell of an edit! Yes, a much more conclusive piece, really top notch and scales above the first draft. Thanks for letting me know about the edit, I really enjoy this!

    Cheers,

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how your poem makes readers suddenly believe in the power of love (thats what happened to me, anyway) Splendid poem! It's so short but tells all it needs to. I totally agree that great love [for others, and showing it] is the way to live on forever, in the hearts of every life we have had changed in some special way. Nice work! Looking forward to more.

    ^shatila
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by shatila | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, We are eternal right now- aren't we- At least I like to think so- nothing is ever lost- if we have loved- or been loved- This one was so short and summed up the feelings I have been having latley myself. Nothing ever dies- Thank you for sharing- this was wonderfully written- Heather
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by delusional | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this it is simple and yet heart felt and very much to the point of leaving something of ourselfs behind,its always sad when those who know and love pass through this world and yet somehow at the same time it leaves those behind with with so much thanks for the lovely read keep up the good works
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and simple, yet profound at the same time. I like the way you wrote this. It gave the reader a chance to think in between spaces. I think you did a fine job with showing we all leave a piece of ourselves behind...mainly with our love. Great job.


    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems to be a refelction on words as a carrier of love? If not, I'm still on board.

    Nice, simple, clear and direct, great for the form usage you've prescribed here.

    That second stanza break is a bit off in my opinion. You talk about love through out, but your last stanza refers specifically to the love mentioned in the second stanza. Hmmm, gonna have to think about that one for a bit.

    Cheers!

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      short and to the point, this. i love the message,
    that we become immortal through the love
    we leave behind.
    i am sorry for the passing of your friend, but
    your insight is a salve i am sure.

    this made me think of two dear friends who recently passed away. Babs died six months ago, and her beloved Dave died a few days ago. as i was sitting in church the other day,
    i looked behind me to where they used to sit at
    daily mass.. there was a beautiful ray of sunshine on the pew, and i could see the two of
    them sitting there as if they were flesh and
    blood. it warmed my heart.

    spread the love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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