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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: crying out for the last timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Seedofbayne
    ASL Info:    19/M/MA
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 55/82/27
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 250
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 801



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscrying out for the last timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I call your name. Softly and lovingly. My hand in yours. My lips on yours. Trying to be. Wanting to be. Everything you want. I've fallen so deep. So deep I'm numb. Everything is stopping. Let me say one thing. Before I leave. How much I love you. How much I want you. Wanting you here. Here with me forever. I long to taste your lips. To hold you close. To whisper in your ear. I've fallen. Have you? For me, have you? My stomach whirling. My lungs frozen. My heart twirling. Your the cause of this, please make it stop. I close my eyes, The room is spinning. I'm screaming. Pulling out my hair. I just wish. Wish it was easy. But it's not...To you say, 'I love you.' With your soft voice. Let me tell you. Tell you have I feel. I need nothing. Nothing else but you.




    Submitted on 2006-02-05 19:44:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      beautiful~ i love this peice really great job mike sweetie - I am only so curious to know what what down deep while you were writing this eice how you felt how your heart was beating fast? slow? moderate? were you mad or sad- your eyes how they looked did the have a fleck of amazment in them as they norally do or were they in a sort of weaping phase ... Keep it up xoox alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by Thirst4Serenity | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really know where to start to comment on a poem such as this where there is so much heartbreak. I can certainly understand your feeling of being trapped. It is all so common when one loves another so much it hurts and they don't feel the other person loves them back. And the simple reallity of it all is that you can't make someone love you, it is not something that can be forced no matter how much you love them! But the pain is so very real and it sometimes seems it will never go away, but, it will! It just takes time and I promise things will get better. So her's to better times and a happier life...
    Take care and stay safe,
    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      the words are all there, and it reminds me of a song, "nothing but you" cant remember who did it, at this point in time.
    the set out is how i generally start a poem, just throwing all the words out.
    are you going to stanza it, (new lines for ideas, if you werent sure) becasue that was the only problem i was having. the idea of short sentences was great, but i got a little lost, all the words being in one big block.
    keep writting.
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]



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