Description: ok this is the first time i ever wrote a poem with only 3 syllables per line and every line with the same number of syllables. plus i wrote this when i was 'in the moment' so idk how it is. >.<
it's really hard to make all the lines 3 syllables and still try to make a point! i think it was kinda iffy, but idk.. ^.^ hope you all likes!
Final Scream -------------------------------------------
watch the rain
see it fall
hide my pain
build a wall
turn away
never cry
end of day
breathe a sigh
wake again
hate comes back
now times ten
soon i crack
raining tears
blood of mine
give a cheer
now it's time
good by world
fuck you all
helpless girl
worthless call
"SET ME FREE!"
final scream
I loved the style of this poem. I've tried writing things like this but they never turn out quite so powerful. My favorite part was probably "hate comes back now times ten" But I really didn't like the line "give a cheer" It kind of just didn't seem to fit in to the poem as well as the other words and lines. but I do like the powerful words you used. Good write. I'll add this to my favorites.
Making each line have the same amount of syllables is a lot harder than it sounds, but you did it perfectly. It rhymed nicely and didnt sound forced at all. I love it. My favorite line is the one that says, "F*** you all" cause I think using profanity helps express certain feelings better. You know? You got your point across wonderfully. As always, Great Job
The style caught me off gaurd, but it worked REALLY well. Your rhyme was absolutly flawless except at the lat few lines i had to do a double take because you switched it up. But in all honesty this i one of the greatest poems i have ever read. Have you ever considered entering a contest with it? The way you convayed the frustration and the building of pain was stunning. You now have a devoted follower. :) -T.C. Wolfsong
Hmmm... interesting style. I thought you expressed the frustration and angst of life well, and the three syllable line format is not to be confused with being SIMPLE or EASY to conceive!
Well done, LoneWolf. I look forward to more poems from you on these pages.
Submission Name: Final Scream
