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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: introduce yourself right ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: milo stills
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 345/476/138
    Words: 280
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1608



    Description:
       this is for my buddy screams.. it needs a lot of work. and it's kinda really bad at this point.. so feel free to tear me a new one

    on the flipside internet


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsintroduce yourself right ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rumination (or introduce your self right on)
    By Derrick Salas

    Itís hard for me to talk about myself
    To think about anything between lines
    I hide in the silence of the out spoken
    Paste periods over my clothes
    Commas in place of expression
    Everything is blank here
    Nothing like a canvas
    More like my bathroom floor

    I can pick the stains out with my bear feet
    I understand the movement of water through pipes
    Or tooth paste
    And toilet paper
    I am lost in the will to be clean

    I spend my time soaking in the tub
    Or staring into a blank page
    Watching my words
    Sweating out anything thatís left
    Its just more water
    And I can understand that

    It helps that I can remember

    I can remember women
    Women with tails tacked on to pinstripes
    And animal ears underneath pastel hair
    It is not easy for them
    It is no simple task to wait

    They are more like me then I can say
    Even here, I hide behind punctuation
    And leave room for more

    This is why you donít want to know
    This is why your not here
    And Iím alone in the bathroom
    Watching this mirror
    I can feel myself melting
    Water mixing with salt
    I swirl the soup that rises around me
    Bits of my self float to the top
    A memory of childhood
    Mixed in with all the sweat and dirt

    It helps that I can remember




    Submitted on 2006-02-06 15:13:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      whoa, dedicated to me, eh? this is the first time a poet here dedicated a poem to be. most poeple think that i am not worthwhile. but you, hell yes.... I really like this moment of frozen contemplation here... reaacjing back to the grime that is you.. and how this may coincide/conflict with the painful process of purification. hell yes!!! and I am favin it, not beacuse its your best... because it isw for your buddy scremizoid


    thanks!



    p.s and thanks for the fav on on unfuc.kingtitled, I am glad you likedl
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      I must say this is a really phenomenal read especially fro something supposedly bad. I like the reflection and observation of the female gender. Well done...it takes alot to understand the trillion thiongs a woman might think of while looking in the mirror pondering everything that's wrong with her. The imagery with the bathroom related to the topic was very fiting. good job. and hopefully i read this right, if not oh well. have a nice day, ash.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this too. It may be a bit deeper than I think. I will probably need to read it again but I loved the images mixed with self-reflection and observation of women. nice write Derrick.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo! You cheeky thing you. "It's really bad at this point"...if you haven't rewritten that at least once than I should bow and kiss your feet. The only error I saw was "bear feet" instead of "bare feet". I didn't know if that was on purpose or not. I love how you call yourse;f a "canvas". That is a lovely way to express how blank we are until we begin to "paint" ourselves. The poem really was very well written. I would love to see more work like this from you.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]


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