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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Forbidden Fruitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 670



    Description:
       I dunno- kinda feeling torn I guess- inside- and also with the title for this: should it be "Love- at what cost?" dont want to over use the whole forbidden fruit theme- Like it? Think its lame? Let me know....(I'm sure you will)Yes- "Son-" is spelt like that for a reason-


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Forbidden Fruitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What will she give
    for love this day?
    Seems it comes with a price-
    she's not willing to pay:

    The Forbidden fruit-
    with a taste so divine;
    for the cost of her soul,
    and all of her time.

    She walks away now-
    she can never return;
    She's playing with fire
    and she's starting to burn.

    She'll see him again-
    next time she falls from grace-
    where in the hollows of her mind
    she can gaze upon his face.

    The days are flying by....
    now she starts to run-
    out from the Darkness-
    and into the Son.




    Submitted on 2006-02-06 18:15:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Merry Meet Delusional. The writing of this poem is good, but I feel the whole theme of forbidden fruit and darkness is kinda over used. Not particularly in this poem, but just as a general theme. Or maybe it is just what I am finding to read of last that has me burnt on it. All in all a nice poem though. Keep writing. Blessed Be Andrea
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]
      The feeling I get from this poem is she is in hell and going towards heaven, hence the spelling of Son. Am I right? My feeling comes from the second and last stanzas.The poem rhymes, and has a smooth rhythm. As a sugggestion for a title, you might try Out of Darkness or Forbidden. The poem is well written with the proper punctuation. This is a good read.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Ms. Gifted | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a nice write. It flows. I understand and like the line 'she starts to run-
    out from the Darkness-
    and into the Son'. She is turning over a new leaf, leaving her past behind her and going to the one who will give her the love that she needs at a cost that has already been paid for her. I probably went more into it. but that's what i get when i read it. good job :-)
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by lilyfleur | [ Reply to This ]
      Out from the darkness
    an into the Son? is that a typo or is did you mean Sun not Son? because to me that last word changed the entire complexity of entire poem, which by the way I found I found I liked, its constructed very well keep up the good works
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      is it wrong that I'm thinking about incest while reading this poem...I'm from Kentucky and hopefully that explains my thinking pattern. The word flow is very nice and the idea of some one wanted and just barely with in grasp is very clear. The forbidden fruit title is a bit over used yet it fits well better than your other option - I just didn't like it very much. the poem though, that i did.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this alot. The combination of something sacred that you long for but is forbidden for you to touch. The poem has a smooth flow and conection within the verses all out good poem.
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this
    I take the mspelling of the word son to refer to
    Jesus
    The son of God and how you are turning away from the evil Negativity creates and grasping on to the loving arms of the Lord
    This is a really beautiful write
    Thank You so much for sharing this
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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