Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Kalidoscopeeyes
ASL Info:    18/f
Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 122 /151 /29
Words: 166
Class/Type: Prose /Misc
Total Views: 1102
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1062


these are just random lines/sentences that i wrote about a year ago. and i didn't have the energy to make anything of them. i don't even think i like them all that much. a little too complaining and dare i say emo.


And I'd drain my own blood and paint a picture so beautiful if I thought it'd make you smile. Because that's all I want.


There's something about curling smoke that makes me believe anything is possible. It inspires me to write something epic.


sometimes i wonder if i'm real, and if i dig my nails into my skin long enough, will it still hurt? and if i cast these nerves away, which pain will be worse? my skin ripping or the numbness i (don't) feel afterwards?


I wish I could keep hold of some of these laughs because as quickly as the come, there they go, lost in my memories. Why can't I be branded with a smile instead of a cigarette? Why does the curling smoke hang in the air longer than your promises?


i can't let you in.
i'm sorry.
i tried.
but the words got confused
and i lost myself.

Submitted on 2006-02-06 19:33:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i liked it. i like the part about digging your nails in. it didnt sound ordinary just honest. none of it was way way overdone.
| Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
  to be honest, i didn't really like it. seems too ordinary. there were some good parts but over all it just didn't/won't stand out in my mind. the wording didn't seem to be all that creative...just seems like same old same old. you want someone you can't have. they hurt you. you still want them. it's done...or has been done like this i guess. try something different. put more detail into at least...describe the smoke...describe taking the blood to make a picture. the end i think is weak...but that's just me. could use some improvements.

| Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by beth freese | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey, that's cool. It is a bit emo, but hey, that's just what happens. I liked the second part best:

"There's something about curling smoke that makes me believe anything is possible. It inspires me to write something epic."

I feel the same way. And smoke is just so pretty sometimes. The last part was also really cool. I can tell it's sort of a random "What the hell should I do with these?" sort of thing, but that's fine. I'm guilty of doing the same thing sometimes. Anyway, it's cool.

| Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?