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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: akaietowa-ru_18
    ASL Info:    20/F/Belly of the Beast
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 101/125/64
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1231
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831

       Eh, needs a title....SOME SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!!!!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Blue skies with feathered wings,
    the warmth of light on my tanned face,
    shining dark ponds.
    The amount of weeds....
    They do nothing.

    Sometimes hope is bitter.
    Wishes-- no matter the purpose...
    They are impur, full of some hidden greed.

    Brown entities stare out.
    They stare at the vast waste.
    They want to speak out, but have no will to.

    Insensive banging in all places.
    Whispers voicing out pain.
    The foundation of heritage is pride...
    Pride and pain go hand in hand.

    Silly little fairytales wind us up,
    keep us inhoused within a false reality-- ignorance.
    Many want retribution,
    some fueled by regret want hope.
    All these brown intities want is to be able to bleed.

    Submitted on 2006-02-06 19:52:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The meaning of this poem is not clear to me. Is it about inflicting pain to self? Who are the entities you mentioned twice? I think the poem would be better with a title. Often the title will help clarify the meaning of the poem. Maybe it's just abstract and I just don't get it. Anyway I hope I've been of some help to you.
    Ms. Gifted

    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Ms. Gifted | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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