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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Break And Falldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BreakAndFall
    ASL Info:    18/f/mo
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 115/153/59
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsBreak And Falldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Break and fall, break and fall
    Light will fade, night will fall
    Dark is black, black is fear
    Fear is life, the end is near
    Almost gone, one last song
    One last kiss then you'll be gone
    Watch you fade
    I let go, you scream no
    Panic hits, hysteric fits
    Let me return, I swear I'll learn
    I'll change my life
    A second chance, one last dance
    Safe in your arms, free from all harm
    Tears will fall, shadows fill all
    I'm not ok, my lifeline fades
    Not one more day, for me to say
    "I love you"
    Break and fall, break and fall
    All will fade, all will fall
    All is black, black is fear
    Fear is life, the end is near




    Submitted on 2006-02-06 20:35:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      complex yet beautifully simple and sad. it sounds so cliché but you really dont know what you have until its gone, desperately trying to force the pieces together again, or atleast for one more time. good job, i really liked it!
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by devildoll | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyming is marvelous
    I like how you say things in (kind of) dark ways.
    And the way it comes back to the beginning in the end is great too.
    I've noticed I do that a lot.

    The part, "A second chance, one last dance" makes me sad.
    I think it's because it reminds me of the song that says
    "On my knees, I'll ask
    Last chance for one last dance"

    That song always makes me cry. lol I'm very emotional.

    But anyways, I like this a lot.
    You're very talented

    As always, Great job!

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


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