Great poem! I just wrote a piece soemwhat like this, but not quite, about a guy that I could wish so badly to be with. This poem is amazing. I find it weird though that I'm finding all these poems now. Lol, I think I'm falling into my crush. Great poem and good luck! Peace n Love ~*AnGeL*~
very descriptive poem. shows deep care and knowledge of the subject, but some of the rhymes seemed forced. The subject was well chosen, but not adequately described. Perhaps focus a little more on more than just visual senses and use a bit more figurative language. Dont take this as me trying to be harsh, just wanted to help out... overall, i liked it a lot, well written, keep it up!
in all i loved the poem, it runs very smoothly, except for one place i was a little concerned...
Within my heart you do reside Taking over my entire soul My love for you will never subside
in this stanza i think that the final line is a little out of the proper sylable count, and forgive me for nit-picking, but i think it would improve it a little more if you used the word "not subside" as apposed to "never subside". again, thats just my opinion, but dont get the idea that i didnt like it, it was very touching and and worked very well...