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    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots

    Author: smlaw
    ASL Info:    18/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 56/37/10
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 764
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 793


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    How do I find
    the words to say what’s in my heart,
    when every time I see you
    I’m tongue-tied?

    How do I share
    the words that go running through my mind,
    faster than the speed of light?
    there for a moment;
    gone before I can grasp them.

    How do I express
    the way my heart stumbles,
    and misses the beat,
    every time you call?

    How do I show
    my smiling lighting up a room
    when I say your name;
    hear your voice;
    envision you beauty;
    with you so far away?

    How do I tell you
    that you’re always in my dreams;
    always in my thoughts;
    always on my mind,
    when it will bring what we’ve built to ruins?

    Submitted on 2006-02-07 19:29:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem because it was the way you felt when you wrote it; I hate it how sometimes when you write a poem, and something doesn't sound right so you twist it around to think you made it better, but then it turns out to not be what you originally wrote about. I can relate this poem and it's clear points very much so. My favorite part of your poem is:

    How do I show:
    my smiling lighting up a room
    when I say your name;
    hear your voice;
    envision you beauty;
    with you so far away?

    I like this part because I have a crush on a guy, and he likes me too, but whenever you say his name it makes me smile and giggle. Lol, anyways, great poem and I'm going to add it to my favorites.
    Good luck in everything you do, Peace n Love,
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by missing_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      i have always thought punctuation and grammer dont matter in poems... you don't stop to think, oh, this line needs a capital letter and [censored] like that when your feelings and thoughts are flowing onto the paper like water.... any way... i liked that poem, i know i can defiantely relate to it... i hate the situation you have described, but it seems to happen a lot. you expressed it well. good choice of words and i liked the way you rounded it all of with the last line. good stuff
    Mesculine and Milkshakes
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by m with two i_s | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting write. And the only thing I have to question, is are you talking about a friend that you secretly have feelings for??

    I like how you start each stanza with a new indever. The only thing is, if you're going to put colons on some of the first lines, you should put them on all...keep with the pattern.

    Keep writing
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]

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