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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just a Frienddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Greyson
    ASL Info:    26/M/USA
    Elite Ratio:    5.18 - 28/26/6
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 822



    Description:
       There's no need for me to hide my feelings, my heart is an open book for any that wishes to read it. I'm in love with a beautiful woman that has the heart of a world and she's broken. I'm going to be there for her, no matter what. She deserves so much more. Tears from her eyes just seems out of place. Like putting hot sauce on ice cream, or taking the steering wheel from a car. She'll be free from her pain one day, and I'll be the one that has stuck around. Patience has to be a close friend of mine. It's imperative.


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    dotsJust a Frienddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Waiting
    Anxious
    Anticipating
    Lost in admiration.
    She's freed me

    Keeping
    Holding
    Building
    Prayers for this heart of mine.
    She's changed me

    Wanting
    Needing
    Giving
    A lifetime in one smile.
    She's falling.
    I want to be the one to catch her.

    Her broken heart I'll hold in these unworthy hands.
    Unselfishly I'll pick her up, even if it's I that wants her love.
    A friendship I'll give to her, no strings attached.

    But I want to be so much more.

    I want to be her destination
    Her escape
    Her everything.

    Hiding
    Knowing
    Masking
    The pain, each time she speaks his name.




    Submitted on 2006-02-08 10:23:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      To be honest, this is a really great poem. The words you use are descriptive and full of emotion. Even through skeptical eyes it's hard to see if you're being real.

    This shows sacrifice of your own heart, even if it means that the outcome isn't what you want it to be. I hope that's true. She needs stability in friendship and acceptance for who she is.

    Your words reveal a heart tormented for a heart that is also tormented. I like your storyline way of describing this situation. very creative.


    Blessed by his grace,

    Sorrel
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by SorrelsReality | [ Reply to This ]
      it pains me to read this, but still, it's a great piece. You are so open, so kind and giving. If anyone is unworthy it's this girl you're speaking about. She dosen't deserve you, yet you still want her to have you, even if friendship is your only option.

    On the brighter side, it must be a military thing huh? hehe.

    I love the way you created the stanzas, and then worked into a larger stanza, only to go back to the building of words to the meaning. Almost like steps. You really show your heart in this, and what kind of person you are. Valiant, that's the word that comes to mind. You're a modern day prince! hehe.

    You're creative, and unique and full of heart.

    I loved this.

    *bunches of hugs*

    Avry
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      one word...amazing. this poem shows me how much you care about this person. i could feel the emotion with everyword i read. its clear that you really care about whoever she is and i hope that you are the one to 'fix' her. and being a close friend is always good when going through a depression or anything really. i admire that will always stand by her side and be there for her. it reminds me of me and my girl friend. something that might help a little is to add in a little imagery. that might work. later, take care.

    ~Zach~
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]


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