You have succeeded in building a sculpture of your lover with your hands. Not in clay, but with your pen in your poem. Details of a very muscular man. Magic in your pen... Well done!
I liked the format and I don't believe that every piece must rhyme - they all have a special flow. It's unique and I liked that. I liked some of your analogies too. Good! Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share tif
Could use work on the flow, but I really liked 'I'd give you my rib.' Nonetheless, your point comes across clearly and the description is good. The only thing that needs improvement in my opinion is, as I said before, the flow. Nice write, though. -Mel
I like that you use your feelings. I think the rhyming could use a little work, but then again, I'm big on rhyming. The fact that your emotions show through is what makes it a good peice or poerty! Would like to read more!
hmmm.. a little confuzing..but i like..i like alot...you did a good job explainging the flow wasnt the best it could have been but this is good...shows how you feel and this is good...so keep it up and nice write...peace 88**kelly**88
Submission Name: Picture Perfect
