[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My appologydots

    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 542
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 927

       I wrote this to my mom when I started cutting. I don't aymore. It was stupid, I am stupid for doing it

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy appologydots

    I'm sorry I wasn't her, so beautiful so bold.
    I'm sorry I wasn't him, so athletic, so popular.
    I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted, happy and likeable.

    I'm sorry I'm one that was culpible.
    I'm sorry that I was the one at fault.
    I'm sorry I made you cry.
    Mom, I'm sorry, please understand that I know this isn't right.

    I'm sorry I couldn't take it that night.
    I'm sorry I wasn't strong.
    I'm sorry, mom, I thought I'd could stop.

    I'm sorry that I feel this way.
    I'm sorry that I did it again.
    I'm sorry I broke my promise never to cut again,

    I'm sorry that I am scared, that I destroyed this body you gave me.
    I'm sorry that I couldn't hold it all in.
    I'm sorry.

    Submitted on 2006-02-08 17:57:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very interesting piece. I think alot of people could relate to it, and that's what makes it beautiful. It sounds like something I would say. *i am not sure if that is good, or not, but w/e.*
    Just one thing, the title... It works, but just check the spelling.
    le beau vide
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by lebeauvide | [ Reply to This ]
      I have mixed thoughts on this poem. The thought behind it hits home, because my neice has been "cutting" for about a year or maybe alittle more, so it hits home. I try so hard to understand that, to understand the need to do it. So to hear you write about how sorry you are for doing it, it's like hearing her say I'm sorry I'll stop, but seeing her in a week or so, and there's yet more slices on her arms. It's scary for a parent, a loved one, a friend to see that and not know how to help you through that. Not knowing the why behind it. So for that reason, it's powerful to me. However, the I'm sorry mom brings back a poem written a long time ago about a kid who decides to go to a part, and the title of that poem is I'm sorry Mom. If you could find a different way to state that, i think it would have a slighty bigger impact on your readers. But again, very powerful! Please keep writing. I beg my neice to write. It can be such a powerful release. Stay strong. LIfe when you're a teenager seems so hard and difficult, but it does get better. Might not get easier, :) but it does get better. I wish you the best. Please stop cutting!
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by nicklacymatthew | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It's simple but powerful at the same time. I could relate to it, too...

    The only thing is that this is a very overused idea, and you didn't do much to make it seem completely original and not just your run-of-the-mill "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" poem. I did enjoy it though.

    Very good.
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by disco superfly | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]