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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My appologydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 927



    Description:
       I wrote this to my mom when I started cutting. I don't aymore. It was stupid, I am stupid for doing it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy appologydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm sorry I wasn't her, so beautiful so bold.
    I'm sorry I wasn't him, so athletic, so popular.
    I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted, happy and likeable.

    I'm sorry I'm one that was culpible.
    I'm sorry that I was the one at fault.
    I'm sorry I made you cry.
    Mom, I'm sorry, please understand that I know this isn't right.

    I'm sorry I couldn't take it that night.
    I'm sorry I wasn't strong.
    I'm sorry, mom, I thought I'd could stop.

    I'm sorry that I feel this way.
    I'm sorry that I did it again.
    I'm sorry I broke my promise never to cut again,

    I'm sorry that I am scared, that I destroyed this body you gave me.
    I'm sorry that I couldn't hold it all in.
    I'm sorry.




    Submitted on 2006-02-08 17:57:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very interesting piece. I think alot of people could relate to it, and that's what makes it beautiful. It sounds like something I would say. *i am not sure if that is good, or not, but w/e.*
    Just one thing, the title... It works, but just check the spelling.
    :)
    le beau vide
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by lebeauvide | [ Reply to This ]
      I have mixed thoughts on this poem. The thought behind it hits home, because my neice has been "cutting" for about a year or maybe alittle more, so it hits home. I try so hard to understand that, to understand the need to do it. So to hear you write about how sorry you are for doing it, it's like hearing her say I'm sorry I'll stop, but seeing her in a week or so, and there's yet more slices on her arms. It's scary for a parent, a loved one, a friend to see that and not know how to help you through that. Not knowing the why behind it. So for that reason, it's powerful to me. However, the I'm sorry mom brings back a poem written a long time ago about a kid who decides to go to a part, and the title of that poem is I'm sorry Mom. If you could find a different way to state that, i think it would have a slighty bigger impact on your readers. But again, very powerful! Please keep writing. I beg my neice to write. It can be such a powerful release. Stay strong. LIfe when you're a teenager seems so hard and difficult, but it does get better. Might not get easier, :) but it does get better. I wish you the best. Please stop cutting!
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by nicklacymatthew | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It's simple but powerful at the same time. I could relate to it, too...

    The only thing is that this is a very overused idea, and you didn't do much to make it seem completely original and not just your run-of-the-mill "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" poem. I did enjoy it though.

    Very good.
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by disco superfly | [ Reply to This ]


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