After All by jaycee

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Submission Name: After All dots

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Author:	jaycee
ASL Info:	38/F/ Texas
Elite Ratio:	4.85 - 2410/1167/153
Words:	205

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Serious
Total Views:	335
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1349

Description:
This is not autobiographical, but something I've been working on for a week or so.
Yes, another country tune...but what do you expect from a Texan

After All dots

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Your question came at me
Like lightening from the blue
How could you ever think
I could want something new
After all the times
of dusting off when we fall.
Guess you never knew me at all.

Chorus:
Guess you never knew me
Did you look right through me
Or did you just see a reflection
of what you wanted me to be?
Guess it's time for changin'
A little rearrangin'
How we started out, I can't recall.
Guess you never knew me after all.

I know makin time for us
is a hard thing to do,
but it can't be any harder
than living without you
But it's up to you now
If you thought i'd make the call
Guess you never knew me after all.

[CHORUS]

BRIDGE
Blindsided, I've decide this is no way to live
Giving everything I am
when you can't see the gift
How we came to this point
I still can't recall, but
Guess you never knew me after all

[CHORUS]

No how we came to this poing
I still can't recall.
Guess you never knew me after all.

You question came at me
like lightening form the blue.....

Submitted on 2006-02-08 21:40:51 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  Jan- I would love to hear this with the music- like say maybe Garth Brooks or Clint Black- (maybe thats because they are the only country artists I actually have cd's of) it runs along those lines for me- and although I dabble in it just a little its very country- and would make a great song... good work! Heather
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by delusional | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this was over all pretty good. I really liked this line,
"Did you look right through me
Or did you just see a reflection
of what you wanted me to be?"

I think it was somewhat repetitive though. Maybe you could throw a little variety in there.
But overall I think you did a good job.
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought it was fine. a perfect country song. it doesn't have to be (and probably is not meant to be) an exercise in originality. it has a particular message and a very good country beat. it fulfills your intention. other than a couple of typos, I don't see a thing wrong with it. perhaps some people need to have more spark in their country, but not me! I guess you need to add the truck, mama and a couple shots of whiskey to make some people happy! oh, yeah and a damned old train!
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think your first chorus is in the wrong place it should still be the singer of the song and I agree with shaqua 1973 that needs a bit of re-write done to it ,other then that I feel it's good,it has of course the country feel to it anyway thats just my take on it,there are a few typo's in it but nothing that can't be fixed up in a snap keep up the writes
adnil
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
  Try to be more poigniant. It has no mystery, no spark, I'm sorry but it never hit me hard at any point. Make no mistake, I empathize with the emotional content, but it feels absolutely unoriginal to me because there isn't a single line in it I haven't seen before. If I were you and were serious about this poem, I'd start over. Write, re-write, re-write again... scrutinize, let it sit a while, re-write again... then post it.
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Shaqua1973 | [ Reply to This ]
  Guess you never knew me
Did you look right through me
Or did you just see a reflection
of what you wanted me to be?

very poignant and sad lines indeed. i've felt that
way, too. someone who you loved but then you
realize they never really knew you.. it's a sad
realization.

i love your bridge, too. love is a gift, but sometimes
it just is not accepted, or it's not enough.

i think you have a typo in the last lines (poing instead of point).

melancholy song, i just hear a lone guitar, sadly
strummed..

good work.
peace,
~Cat
| Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this, i can hear it in my head as a song, which is always good when reading lyrics and you painted a greated picture.

Well done, definately one for my faves.

Tink
| Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow!!! Simply awesome, I would also love to hear this with the music to it as well the words are deep and full of emotion, You are very good at writing lyrics. I hope you will continue to write lyrics and I know you will have a Number 1 Hit someday. I love the way you put your feelings into the lyrics this is a wonderful gift you have been given and I hope you know how truely blessed you are. I will read more of yours later.

Ladymustang
| Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]

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