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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Like A Kitedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vedanta19
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 492/502/133
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 201
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 626



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike A Kitedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Soaring high, far away in the solemn sky,
    Breathing the breeze of freedom -
    a life - unrealized, uncaptured;

    I dream of a world in neverland,
    Where angels float on cottony clouds,
    Where sadness remain quiet - unheard,
    Where little fairies dance to the delicate music of rain,
    A painless loving - no heartaches;

    In peach-coloured air of selfless human hugs,
    Simplicity like a prayer - pure, unrecalled,
    Rest on dew kissed grass;

    ..like a kite,
    free, colourful and joyful

    I dream of a world of neverland.




    Submitted on 2006-02-09 13:05:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      dream of a world in neverland,
    Where angels float on cottony clouds,
    Where sadness remain quiet - unheard,
    Where little fairies dance to the delicate music of rain,
    A painless loving - no heartaches;



    ..............if only it existed. I love this. And I dream of this world every night and day....I long for it. ah...if only....
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      The imagary you used made me re-read this a few times so I could soak it all in. As others who have commented - I have my own thoughts on where each movement led me to in my mind; and they were really nice places. I really enjoy how you did that for me.
    I did have a little trouble with the "neverland" bit of the poem at first. You did not quite spell out what or where neverland is at. So I stopped dwelling and just let what you had already put in my mind and made a place of my own for your "neverland."
    Finally, I love where you take your inspiration from. I can see you sitting somewhere, look up and see a kite floating and dancing, and just start relating to it on the level that you do.
    I loved this one! Cheers!
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
      This is absolutely beautiful
    I loved the visions this write created
    I thought of the kite as abird flying freely with nature
    I loved this
    This one is a favorite
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a wonderful lightness - a sort of let us drift away with the kite. You have an extra 't' in little, also I think I would split this line and add a 'the' as follows.

    Where litttle fairies dance
    to the delicate music of rain

    Additionally, I think I would seperate 'dewkissed.'

    My favourite line is

    'Where sadness remain quiet - unheard',
    that's nice
    love and peace
    Comradenessie
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like this neverland is heaven, except without the fairies. Really light-hearted and wonderful. That was a good write, and very original. Great! God Loves You!
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the words, the feeling of a breeze, everything about this made me want to get better. Although this didn't ryhme it didn't bother me the least bit. I loved it, and there is nothing that I can say bad about this. Personally I think that the best part was when you said "Rest on dewkissed grass" Great Write!
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      peach-colored air reminds me of a painting and I think it would be just splendid to live in a painting, reminded me of maybe micheal angelo...with angels and lovely things. very good valentinesy feeling poem.
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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