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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Looking Back On Childhooddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ArtichokeMosher
    ASL Info:    15/F/PA
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 146/201/81
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 783



    Description:
       I was sitting on the bus as I wrote this.I started with the first two lines in my head.I figured I would write them down before I forgot them.Other thngs just kind of came out when I was writing.Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLooking Back On Childhooddots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I sit here and read this book...
    I take one step back and give a good look...
    At how my life has changed over the years...
    All the tears cried and all my new fears.

    I take a look of how it used to be.
    Now comming out is a diffrent side of me.
    A side so dark and deep,
    Where wounds never mend but forever seep.

    I take a step back to childhood.
    Most things then were misunderstood.
    As we now open a new door,
    We know things we never knew before.

    Now we know why we've done the things we've done.
    We know why there's more reasons than just one.
    So if you just took this one step back,
    You will realize the world is nothing more than black.




    Submitted on 2006-02-09 14:17:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      it reminds me of a simpler time, and you captured the feelings with your choice of words nicely. I am a fan. I appreciate your comments on my last submission. I hope to learn from your snippets of advice in the future. thanks for your time.
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes...very wordy. Less is more. Plus it seems like this topic has been done so much. If you could bring a fresh look at it, it would be great, oh, and guess what. The world is not so black when you have God in your life. God Loves You!
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      Um... very wordy. poems come across as best written when they get right to the point, to do this, omitt unnessesary wors such as: more, now. Also, you often use a pronoun in a line multiple times.
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]



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