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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wings Of Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 1153
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 716



    Description:
       just something for all the young lovers
    adnil


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWings Of Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Last night I held you in my arms
    Tasting and inhaling all your special charms
    As a full moon beamed its approving smile
    We swayed to breathtaking music all the while
    Though I know not from where it came...
    This soft and intoxicating melody
    Mingling with a scent of jasmine...
    That perfumed the very air
    As we danced upon heavens stairs
    Waltzing across the stars shinning into the night
    Every twinkle appeared to be a love light
    No boundaries laid before us..oh no!
    For heaven itself truly knows
    Love flies on magical wings
    Making all things possible...
    Reaching out..
    Far beyond..
    Even dreams.....




    Submitted on 2006-02-09 14:27:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A poem for lovers indeed. Your description is excellent and you paint such a clear and vivid picture.

    Great stuff from you.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2010-07-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Linda this was real good. I enjoyed this.
    Love is possible the most wonderful thing a human can ever experience on earth.

    Thanks so much for sharing this Linda
    Keep it up
    Take care
    Later

    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      

    You know I gotta side with Ron on this one because I do love a happy ending, especially in a love poem. I have been finding some really good love poems today and this one is no exception. This is such a sweet poem and so well written I truley enjoyed the read...
    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I definately agree. This was really romantic and it will reach out to some of the younger lovers out there. I like your imagery and word usage, really skillful. I loved the rhyme patern, it was interesting and it held my attention, lol, sometime rhyme patterns do that to me. Great write.
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello! A very sweet and romantic poem. Wow, It made me think of nights with my boyfriend and how sometimes the moments felt just as you described. I loved this and thought is was a poem that reach all ages of lovers for all time. Great job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually liked the setting.
    Last night I held you in my arms = Very simple and also very deep and intimate. well done
    Also the dancing on heaven's stairs was very original. i enjoyed it because it is simple yet it conveys a pleasant memory
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by BrokenStream | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought you put a very interesting rhyme pattern in this...just enough to keep it smooth and melodic but not enough to be sing songy

    "We swayed to breath taking music all the while"-This line is a bit awkward in it's structure and imagery unless you meant breathtaking..leaving the words separate gives a different meaning and flow.

    Overall a nice romantic piece full of love that any woman would be happy to receive.
    jan
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this write
    What I like must about this write is you left the ending with the couple happy
    Very few poems written of Love carry happiness thru the whole write
    Your were able to easily achieve this
    That is a sign to how loving your Heart really is
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, what a pretty piece. Very visual and straightforward in its approach. There are a couple of lines, however, I would examine again...

    "Every twinkle appear to be a love light"

    I think maybe there's a modifier missing here.

    and

    "Reaching out..far beyond..even dreams"

    I think this line can be broken into three to set apart the strength of the statements they're making.

    Overall, a groovy piece!

    Cheers, and thanks for sharing.

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]


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