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for all of us


Author: Sanjhana
ASL Info:    21/f/India
Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 118 /154 /45
Words: 107
Class/Type: Misc /Depressed
Total Views: 912
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 748



Description:


this is nothing but rambling..


for all of us



in my life
the days are endless
love is lost
and i'm alone

everyday
is a new struggle
hope is lost
and i'm uncontrolled

and i
wish that things
would be better
for all of us

the feelings
of hatred and anger
need to vanish
in all of us

people walking
in and out
all over
this heart of mine

my lust for life
is gone forever
all over
this stupid fight

and i
wish that things
would be better
for all of us

the feelings
of revenge and anger
need to vanish
in all of us




Submitted on 2006-02-10 11:23:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  For the subject matter I felt you could of used more image with deeper meanings to them and in doing so it would make the poem more feeling,I think it could use a rewrite ,don't get me wrong its not a bad piece it just needs more of that deeper stuff it so lacks right now
anyway keep tapping thise keys
adnil
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
  I'd like to think such sentiments are universal...but obviously there are those who favor war and religious-fervor and hatred of others in the name of their own agenda.

Good thoughts to be rambling about...

Take care,

~B~
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
  rambling is a way of getting ghood thoughts out so you can view them a bit closer. I msut say I like repetion of 'in all of us' it helps keep the ramble more central so that you could maybe not even admit that its a ramble. Needful message and sweet work.
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
  You sure got some deep thoughts going on with you. This was was like a journal entry. Very personal and filled with countless emotions. I think that if you wanted to, you can turn this into a poem. I hope that things in time workout for you. Thanks for sharing.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Very true. We all seem to sit back and wish these things too...well, at least I do at times.

Very simply stated and well put. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  This is so true
I share the same wish you do
This Earth is so full of Jealousy and Hatred
It really is quite sad
I hope and Pray that we all wake up and realize
Love is the answer
We are all Gods Children and the sooner we Love one another the faster we can all live in Peace
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  These are good wishes, and hopefully someday will be true. For rambling, you have made a good platform to start from, but I think this needs a lot more feeling put into it. It has a lot of potential, the subject I feel is just way to deep and the words here are too breezy.
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ]


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