SHE WAS/HE WAS by L.L.COLLINS

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Submission Name: SHE WAS/HE WAS dots

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Author:	L.L.COLLINS
ASL Info:	25-ORLANDO, FL
Elite Ratio:	4.6 - 168/144/32
Words:	375

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	251
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	2594

Description:
THIS IS ABOUT FINDING THE WRONG PERSON A THOUSAND TIMES

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SHE WAS/HE WAS dots

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She was sipping on her last
Five minutes of sanity,
Watching a new love
Pack his things and leave……….
He was so far, but so close
So in and out of reach
Bouncing hearts hopelessly
Living love so dangerously……..
She was slowly slipping away
Never the same as yesterday,
Over and over she erased
But never could she replace.
He was rotten to the core
Saddest thing you ever seen before,
Trying hard to ignore
The hearts lust for more.

They were made for each other
Lovers meant to be together,
Traveling hearts lead to trouble
The wide world won’t find another.
Separate places, separate times
Far astray loves design,
Though it seems you’re always crying
Only searcher will ever find.

She was sick and tired
Of being sick and tired,
Fore they had all promised her love
and they all had been liars…………
He was so complete
With so many broken links,
He hasn’t been the same
Since he let love be………
She had tried to be patient
Steady waiting and wasting
While his unappreciations
Filled her diary pages………..
He was always alone
Just barely holding on,
In and out of broken homes
Ain’t nobodies Mr. Jones………….

They were made for each other
Lovers meant to be together,
Traveling hearts lead to trouble
The wide world won’t find another.
Separate places, separate times
Far astray loves design,
Though it seems you’re always crying
Only searcher will ever find.

She had tears on her finger tips
But touches sweet as gold,
Fore love had warm heart
And love had left it cold……..
He was still living lies
Smiling through starving eyes,
Sleeping on grand the rise
And losing his mind……….
She was all he could see
For ten thousand feet
Stretching for her reach
Yearning for her deep………
He was more than she could trust
So in and out of lust,
To miss him so much
Was Love worth the rush……..

They were made for each other
Lovers meant to be together,
Traveling hearts lead to trouble
The wide world won’t find another.
Separate places, separate times
Far astray loves design,
Though it seems you’re always crying
Only searcher will ever find.

Submitted on 2006-02-10 23:58:02 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I loved this piece. I loved the length, the soul of it, how it established some many different views the reader could posses. You are very talented. I look forward to reading more of your pieces. I want to add every one that I have read on to my favorites list, but I cant really do that. You have a great point of view on the world and I love how similiar our styles are.
-Hill
| Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  You are amazing. I want you to write a book of poems, and/or other writngs, and i will be the first to read it. You are just an amazing writer. Really...Im not just saying that. I wouldn't. You just seem to always have the right words, always know exactly how to phrase it so that everything flows and goes together. Really amazing sweets. By the way this one I can understand completely. Do you ever wonder if you will ever find the one you are meant for? Your soul mate? Im not even sure what I believe anymore...How about you?~Ashley~
| Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by redeemer | [ Reply to This ]
  You are amazing. I want you to write a book of poems, and/or other writngs, and i will be the first to read it. You are just an amazing writer. Really...Im not just saying that. I wouldn't. You just seem to always have the right words, always know exactly how to phrase it so that everything flows and goes together. Really amazing sweets. By the way this one I can understand completely. Do you ever wonder if you will ever find the one you are meant for? Your soul mate? Im not even sure what I believe anymore...How about you?~Ashley~
| Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by redeemer | [ Reply to This ]
  This was brilliant! exactly what I needed to read.....guess there is someone who understands it....every write that I read of yours I find myself connecting to very well. Your flow was good for the most part and your emotion/tone was so intense...your words burned themselves into my soul and I couldn't hlep but love every word of this. I personally wouldn't change a thing! awesome write!
peace
| Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  FANTASTIC! So very powerful for me. I could relate to this one and it's beautiful and honest and shines on it's own truth. Good job, keep up the leadership. You're setting the standards to poetry and it's soaring!!!!!!!! Muah! xoxoxo
| Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by UNIQUEWOODS69 | [ Reply to This ]
  holy horns on cows...and to think that this post might have gone unread by me...guess this is one reason for me to be happy that i'm at work today...

I can't even find the words to express how deep this touched me...i swear its like you wrote about me...scary...yet beautiful...

okay sorry i will stop the rambling and just do what needs to be done...instant fav.!

Tink
| Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  Whew, that was a groovy read. I had to go through twice to set it all straight, and then I'm sure I'm still missing some stuff.

Normally, I wouldn't suggest this, but with the size and continued theme of your piece, I would suggest using a visual form to elict reaction from the readers. Everyone can relate to at least one line here (if they've been in a relationship) and maybe by typing in an artistic form would really carry the reader through it., ie

She had tears
on her finger tips
But touches sweet
as gold,
Fore love had warm heart
And love had left it cold……..
He was
still living lies
Smiling starving
through eyes,

Cheers, and thanks for the read,

Todd
| Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
  Loved the flow and could clearly relate to two poele who loved so much and yet were not good for each other the should I stay -should I go feeling is what I picked up from this piece,but no matter what you meant or what I saw with this,it does not change the fact that this is indeed a very good write I enjoyed the read very much keep up the good works I'll be looking for more of your writes
adnil
| Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
  It got kinda of confusing for me to read. I was not sure if each he or she was a new person or not. This was more like lyrics with the repeated part on "They were made for eachother". Your flow was very good and I liked the concept of this poem. I could relate to the female part of this poem. It was very realistic of a female point of view. I enjoyed this very much. Great job.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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