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    dots Submission Name: Not Enough Timedots

    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1245


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    dotsNot Enough Timedots

    She sat at the end of the bar
    A sad smile played upon her pretty face
    I asked if she'd like another drink
    She said, I've had enough I think
    Then holding her wedding ring
    Tears came to her eyes
    She said, barkeep you know what I learned today
    We've got time enough for livin
    And time enough for dyin
    But theres never enough time for love she said sighin
    We're so busy chasing dreams
    Aquirering brand new things
    That we forget what should matter most
    A thousand loving smiles...
    A touch as soft as a ghost
    The tender endeared words...
    That keep the soul aglow
    There's always things we should of said
    Things we should done
    Those moments simply slip away
    And one can't turn back a clock...
    On any given day
    And if we could live a life time or two
    It still wouldn't be enough ....
    If we said a million I love you
    Cause we've got time enough for livin
    And time enough for dyin
    But there's never enough time for love
    No there's never ....
    She said softly cryin

    Submitted on 2006-02-11 08:46:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm... another interesting life issue you wrote on here Linda. I like this, hmmm... I love the setting you chose to do this in, really sets the mood for the write.

    In a sense this is a sad write and in a sense it is not. Let me explain, on one hand if you take as it stands it can be seen as sad in that the women had to learn difficult life lesson through the lost of a love one or so it seems. Maybe she did actually lost the love one but in a sense lost their love and she is lamenting of that fact.

    And on the other hand if taken in its symbolic form and meaning than it cannot be really seen as a sad thing but rather the situation and characters were just elements so that the poet, you, could get across what you which to illustrate by writing this piece.

    On the whole this was a good write and a good read, keep up the good work and wonderful work Linda and have a blessed day. Your friend
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this piece touched me deeply. It is so true that there isn't enough time for loving. Of course, I have yet to be in love,and this poem makes me realize that I need to stop and take the time to find that special someone. Cause there is never enough time for love and I've wasted enough. There are two things I want to point out to you though. One is in line 16 I think it would flow better if you used the word endearing rather than endeared. Also, in line 25 I think it should be I love yous instead of I love you. Other than what I mentioned, I thoughtr it was a great piece.
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by lostpoet25 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I really like the feeling in this.

    Set up by a good opening, the sadness in the words almost bleeds onto the page, it's really good.

    Very well done

    be happy

    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad and powerful
    You managed to put in a lot of emotion in to it

    "We've got time enough for livin
    And time enough for dyin"
    But theres never enough time for love she said sighin

    I would change them the opposite way that cigarz told you

    (livin = living) + (dyin = dying) + (sighin = sighing)

    i will leave all that up to you
    thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, Linda this was just so beautiful. It's true we take the important things for granted. And we don't realize it most times till it's to late. I think you did a great job with this. I flowed so well, and I too can hear music to this. I like the way you focued on the woman pain not just the woman. You made your point very well. Great job.

    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful, sad, true words that you've expressed here, and I see the whole scene playing through my mind.

    'The tender endeared words...'

    The only fix I'd like to see here is in this line, changing endeared to endearing. I got hung up there, otherwise, it flowed very smoothly. I like this a lot. Great write. It brings tears, it brings sadness, but it also makes your think.

    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ]
      <<wiping>> away the tears... oh man that was so simply said because its so true.. deep breath.. I really liked this and I agree with Todd.. all though there are some really good pop singers that have a lot to say about love ... bravo... till the next one ;}.. gotta go find me a tissue hehe

    *hugs* Penny
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nice tho it did sound a little too countryish for my taste:P I really liked the point you were making here and I think there's a lot of truth in it...I agree with cigarz tho...changin' dying to dyin' might help the flow seem more fluid and realistic...overall nice write. thnx for sharing it:)
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice poem I agree set in the style of a country song. Here you go ad some acoustic guitar and an over paid singer and you got a hit
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, this sets up like a country song... groovy;)

    In the lines,
    "We've got time enough for livin
    And time enough for dying"

    I would change dying to 'dyin' to keep with the voice.

    Overall, a great read, thanks!

    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Graeme
    This write really hit me strongly
    I too have felt that way throughout Life
    It wasnt untio I realised that Life comes to You you dont have to go searching for everything
    As Life comes to you so will the Love and then we spread that love and it keeps moving on forever
    A Beautiful Write
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write, I am now crying at work. Unfortunately it is to easy to relate. Only if you could turn back time, the best opportunity we have would be a second chance and hopefully we can learn from the mistakes that we have made.
    Once again great write and thanks for making me cry at work.
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by dustinamoody | [ Reply to This ]

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