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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On the way back from work...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: irvine_valentin
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 43/74/15
    Words: 16
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 999
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 85



    Description:
       OK I was walking home from work and came up with this two liner. Evetually after trying to remember it and saying it over and over again in my head, basically playing chinese whispers by myself I was left with this and wanted to write it down in case I ever needed to use it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn the way back from work...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You say that I made you dead inside
    But you always complain of the pain within




    Submitted on 2006-02-11 14:16:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      *laughs* how can you feel pain if you're dead on inside? that just defeats the whole purpose.
    ...
    well, okay, crappy comment but hey, short work, short comment. lovely 2 liner

    -jess
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      its short and so to the point its like being kicked in the teeth thought it was great keep it up i do kind of agree with the others on how it leaves you kind of stranded
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by cartoon autopsy | [ Reply to This ]
      The dead feel no pain
    And those in pain know that they are alive.
    You must choose which you are to be -
    You may not play these games with yourself
    Dead or alive iit is you choice
    Your life or death is not up to me

    Lynn
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      Those few words were so powerful. 16 words and it was a power punch. It left me wanting more. Great write, there's nothing wrong with it at all.
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good but it left me craveing more its like going to a strip club when all you really want is a quick bang any way thats an odd analigy but any way you get what i mean it was a tease but the good kind the one that makes you go home and do the deed any way i liked this it was good

    xoxo
    that girl
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice

    You should really start to work with it. You could get a great piece out of it probably...wait, no probably, you would.


    Kimbre

    xo
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]


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    90939

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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