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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: LostBodydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rouge
    ASL Info:    14.F.UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 1/2/1
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 151
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 306



    Description:
       err.... just tell meh what ya think of it ! :-)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLostBodydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blackened sea,
    wash over empty shore,
    From foot to knee,
    chilling to my core.

    Passing breeze,
    along the coated beach,
    shall freeze,
    my body in reach.

    Jagged rocks,
    upon the sea bed,
    together knocks,
    my body dead.




    Submitted on 2006-02-11 20:14:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm into this, these little shorties are nice. I realize there is a common flow and theme to the three, but each seems to be MUCH stronger as works of poetry by standing by themselves. Maybe something of a title "Three that Stand Alone" or something. I really think that is the way to go here.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like thr rhyming pattern. It works quite well.

    Althought it is not a piece that I can warm up to ( actually it is quite nice, that is a reference to feeling the cold water and the ending of the poem. )

    Nice job

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]



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