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    dots Submission Name: Observerdots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1051


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    No candles, cakes and birthdays,
    No time to wish for, I forgot
    To rush against the stooping midnight,
    And close my eyes and agonize in wants.

    It slipped by suddenly, blinking, winking
    Grimace of movies and pigeonholes,
    I took a dip into the snowy fat winter day
    And emerged on the other side, freshly painted,
    With sunshine dripping through my toes.

    My eyes turned blue, and melancholy
    Grew the streets, with stars and moon upon them,
    Tossing frivolities of innocence
    Between their debonair legs.

    Sobriety changed colors - in the twist
    Of pearly white madness, addiction
    Changed places with an old lady in violet
    And moth eaten furs.

    I took leave from the edge of the world,
    So hard to keep focused, took release
    From the suppressing cleanliness of sheets,
    I slipped between the boastful mirrors,
    In ice and anguish of the ages.

    Submitted on 2006-02-12 02:06:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      These lines:

    I took a dip into the snowy fat winter day
    And emerged on the other side, freshly painted,
    With sunshine dripping through my toes.

    steal me. I mean, I COMPLETELY love them. They are so carefree. So great... I loved the line about sobriety too. You have great word choice and placement. I haven't received the chance to look at more of your writing but I'm sure I will.
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by bonita2689 | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is not what I'd call ambiguous, it just seems to hold a deep meaning few would think of. I think this could refer to more than one thing, and that is what a good poem is all about.

    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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