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And i will always love her.

Author: star_on_fire22
Elite Ratio:    2.89 - 58 /55 /19
Words: 79
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 966
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 476


i know this one doesnt flow well. and it just really bad.. but i dont know.. i just kinda like soem of it.. bash it for all i care.

And i will always love her.

I wrap my arms around her.
Resting my head on her shoulder.
I breathe in deeply
and inhale her scent
I look at her cute button nose and smile.

She is Mine.
I will love her forever.

I love the way she speaks.
I love her body
I love her soul and all that she is.

Our late night talks,
Kissign in teh snow,
Sneaking out to see each other,
I truely love this girl.

Submitted on 2006-02-12 02:35:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I would have to agree...This poem has potential but needs some serious work...I mean great you love her but I do not see why..why is she so great...what does he scent remind you of...think of specific memory that shows why you love her... remeber SHOW DONT TELL!
| Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by haileebobailee | [ Reply to This ]
  i can feel the emotion behind this, and its cute. its always nice to see how people feel about their boyfriends/girlfriends whatever. it doesn't flow , and its not anythign that really stands out to me, but it simply explain how u feel about someone, and sometimes thats all u really need
| Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by jen531 | [ Reply to This ]
  i have to agree. this one needs a lot of work. i liked the idea though. love is kinda a weird feeling to explain. but when you're in love nothing really matters. i liked the title. a simple, yet intriguing one.

this poem breaks down in a lot of places. how about not telling the second stanza,but instead EVOKING it. i mean don't say that you will love her forever. but evoke that feeling somehow. it would be really hekpful if you charted out a structure, because otherwise it just seems like it's hanging in the air.

this certainly has a lot of potential. just develop it.

keep writing.

| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]

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