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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Veni, Video, Ibodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darth Zeus
    ASL Info:    21/F/Vacuum
    Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 369/226/34
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1623
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 922



    Description:
       If you can read Latin, which I think not many will ;) you'll notice that it kind of rhymes. If you don't, just say the words for yourself. How does it sound for you?
    I have no idea if it's all grammatically correct, But I thought: Let's try my hand at Latin. I have been 'studying' it for 2 years now at High school I have had no chance to have it checked by my own teacher, which I'll probably do later on, but I've had it checked by someone else now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVeni, Video, Ibodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Veni in eam terram noctis
    Sicut omnes venierunt
    Vivimus vitas differrentes
    Et anxietates nostras habemus

    Video homines deflentes
    Sed quoque laetos
    Vivimus vitas differrentes
    Et alias vias ambulamus

    Ibo de ea terra noctis
    Sicut omnes ibunt
    Vixerimus vitas differrentes
    Sed omnes peribunt.


    Translation:

    I came, I see, I'll go

    I came into this world of darkness
    Just like everybody came
    We live our lives differently
    And we have our own fears

    I (can) see crying people
    But also happy ones
    We live our lives differently
    And walk other ways/paths

    I'll leave this world of darkness
    Just like everybody will leave
    We'll have lived our lives differently
    But everybody will die




    Submitted on 2006-02-12 10:29:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I read this like Phoenix did, but this is the beauty of Latin, it can be translated many ways. I love this, but it made me sort of sad, because I had to look down at the translation from time to time because I forgot what some of the words meant, and some of the declensions. Haha, which this was good, though, and very wise. And also, yea, what was the one I was trying to remember, and it's one of my favorites too.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2008-08-01 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      most excellent, i love it! it's simple yet packed with some deep thinking. i wish i knew latin!!
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      You are the only other person on here that I've seen use latin besides me. But I have to tell you I only used it for a title not the whole damm thing! Difficult.Very cool I like it.

    6
    Mike
    | Posted on 2006-11-12 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      I read the Latin differently...

    I came, I see, I will go

    I came into the earth of the night
    as all things came
    we live different lives
    and we have our anxieties

    I see men weeping
    but also delighted (ones)
    we live different lives
    and we walk different roads

    I will go from there, the earth of the night
    just as all things will go
    we lived different lives
    but we all will die

    If I recall correctly, alias means otherwise. If you wanted to say this, you should use "hic, haec, hoc". I guess it loses its meaning when you translate literally. It's a nice poem, I never thought I would read Latin again. Interesting write. ...bb...

    Tay ~~


    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Latin is one of the most beautiful languages 'known' to mankind. I sing in latin every year with my choirs, and it rolls off of the tonge beautifully! This poem carried that beauty with it, and because I understand just a little, the message was even more dramatic. Does that make sense? I won't go there on the whole [correct technicalities like grammar and stuff] because, for one, I don't really KNOW latin, but I know enough to get the picture. Reading this aloud was simply breathtaking, and I hope that you write more in the future!

    Thanks so much for reading my poem 'Creature' and commenting, however much you may not have wanted to! I am actually planning on revising it someday, so I will let you know when it rises from the grave as an actual poem. Thanks again!

    ~Aetha
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow there are a lot of comments on this piece. I haven't read them all, so I apologise if I'm repeating something someone else has said.

    About a week ago I started reading through your poems, from oldest to newest. Every one that I have read has been good. But this was the first one that I actually wanted to stop and comment on. (I couldn't at the time because you had been away for too many days...that's why I'm doing it now).

    Anyway, I really enjoyed this piece. I don't speak latin, but I have some idea of what it sounds like...and this piece looks like it would sound nice. I liked the English translation, too...not only because it made it possible for me to understand this poem. This poem seems to say "we're all born, and we all die....and what we do between doesn't really matter." And though I don't really agree with that statement... I think you conveyed it well. Keep up the good work! I'm going to endeavor to read the rest of your stuff in the very near future.

    Love ya, li'l sis!

    ~Doh
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by rememberplaydoh | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm, I cant help but notice the simplicity of this poem. Not to say simplicity is a bad thing but... this subject is a little common as well. Let's see what I can do.

    I came into this world of darkness
    Just like everybody came
    We live our lives differently
    And we have our own fears

    I believe the repition of came doesnt do this poem justice. Again... the words are so simplistic; although! sometimes that does work, just try and have some variety with your poems ^_^

    Like

    I came into this world of darkness
    Just like everybody came
    We live our lives differently
    And we have our own fears

    Could be...

    I approached this world of darkness
    Just like everybody appeared;
    We animate our lives differently
    Obtaining our own fears.

    Maybe that works better... you see how playing with the vocab a little can do so much for the piece!

    Other than that... I rather liked it... the idea; no matter how over used it may be. I also liked the way you first did it in latin... maybe I can ask my sister whos been learning latin for a while now about the grammar of this piece. No promises though.

    Take care.
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by Rask | [ Reply to This ]
      Writing on taboo subjects such as death and the crappy world is becoming ever more popular. This is a well written but short piece. I think that you could expand on it and put more of yourself into it make it your view your true emotion must come out in your work or it will be but a shell of what you wanted it to be.
    Loveage,
    Mike
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      The ultimate reality of the world. You did a very good job here, very nice. Very straightforward and true.

    Keep up the good work and have a good day.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! Latin! My boyfriend has a minor in it and is fluent with it. He is currently teaching me. I got some of it. I'm glad, because that means he is teaching me correctly! lol. This was by far the most unique and creative write I've ever saw. I love your use of Latin. It gave this poem a flair, to words always used in English. I love the tone of this poem. It flowed so well in both languages. I'm happy you shared this with us all. this is a fav for me! the best work I have seen you write to date! I'm partial because of the Latin, does it show yet? lol.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I am a huge fan of medieval languages and I meyself spended 4 years studying latin. However, let's just say that it was not mz favourite subject. (but that was the teachers fault) Although my Latin is not very good at all, you have some huge grammatik mistakes in there. Still, I would suggest you leave it like that, because the right grammr and vocabulary would only spoil the poem. I do have alot of things to complain about, but I rathe leave it. I like the wording of the poem and even in english it sounds pretty good. The fact that you wrote it out in latin makes it very interesting.
    However, I don't reallt get a message across. But maybe you did not really intended that, so it's alright.
    Oh, and every country pronounces Latin differently. The spanish people prounounce the V like a B an don't say the h in homnibus.
    After all, well done. If you write another poem in Latin, let me know.
    AZ
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by Yara Lorinda | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely an intersting piece. I think your use of Latin over shadows the purpose of the poem, but still, a nifty little experiment.

    I could see this almost as an experimental piece, where you just give it to someone in lation then hand them a link to "babblefish.com" or some other translation site...

    Cheers! And thanks for taking me back to high school, (Semper ubi, sub ubi) or, even better, (Sic hoc legere scis...)

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like how you wrote this write out in Latin
    My favorite musical piece ever is O Fortona
    A Beautiful latin piece
    This write is a simple write yet speaks great truth
    Thank You for sharing this
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      
    hi Janneke.
    facetiae latinae!

    firstly it is incredibly impressive to see how you have tackled a poem in Latin. very few students [just the very clever ones], learn latin in England now which is a real pity as it is would help them a great deal in so many other areas. at least now most students that learn latin actually want to study it so the experience is far more pleasant than when i was at school.

    it is a delight that you are so aware of the benefits of such a language when it comes to writing poetry ... it always seems to sound good.. yes, even with grammatical errors!

    it used to be very fashionable in england to write humorous poems half in latin and half in english but not many would get the joke these days.

    the content of the poem is profound in itself and in fact lends itself very well to being expressed in latin. so well done there. Your english is excellent. much better than most that call it their first language. you quite obviously have a gift, and it is very rewarding to see such a young person using it to such good effect. well done.

    since i am a teacher myself, i am sure you won't be surprised to hear, that for me personally, i would appreciate the poem a lot more if it was corrected.(just as i appreciate english poetry to be presented with care. many do not bother to even spell-check their work on this site) so for that reason, i think that it would be good to get your latin teacher to help you to polish this. i like to think that he/she has helped to inspire you and would be thrilled to know you have turned your hand to this. i would be full of respect if any student of mine had written something like this.

    finally try not to be so disappointed that others seem challenged to read and make comment on this. you are one of the few percent in the world that actually know any latin and again of an even smaller percent that are brave enough to use it. i can almost hear you from here as you are chatting with your friends,
    'Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.'
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I think applause to you for even thinking of writing something in Latin.
    Every time we write something, especially for our own peace of mind or enjoyment, is another step on the learning curve.

    I don't know Latin much, neer learnt it, yet I was able to get the main gist o your piece abd fill in the details with the translation.

    both are very good.

    Well done, be proud of doing different things

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      That was definately a great attempt at writing poetry in a different language. Latin is a great one to pick, primarily because it has such an essentially connection to the creation and development of great literature. I found this piece interesting and inspiring. Great write, keep it up! Way to be creative!
    @>->- Jenn
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really like it; I think it's lacking a bit of...I don't know. Something. I like the Latin better; the words are more mysterious, mainly because I don't know Latin. *Laughs*

    CAH
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so awesome. I don't know what to say, you really took my breath out with this. Was so simple like prose and it was so true.

    Thumbs up, definitely a fav

    Nicole
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by Dragon of Roses | [ Reply to This ]


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