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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forever Undonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 731
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       Procrastination is NOT good for the soul.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForever Undonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A mural I've been painting
    is taking me years to perfect:
    The lush landscape yearns for sky;
    brilliant hues of blue, orange and gold.
    Just a few strokes of my brush
    will make it feel whole.

    Everyday I will see it-
    yet still, I walk away;
    I'll find the time-
    perhaps tomorrow...
    but the time never comes
    and the picture remains
    forever undone...

    This life I am living
    is taking me years to perfect:
    My soul yearns for completion;
    Brilliant hues bloom in my memory.
    Just a few strokes of his hand
    will make me feel whole.

    Everyday I will crave him-
    and still, I turn away;
    I'll find him again-
    perhaps tomorrow...
    As days fade to years
    so much of us remains
    forever undone...




    Submitted on 2006-02-12 13:46:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a job very well done.
    i liked how it surprized me..when u compared the mural to a guy,a lover maybe,and a relationship.
    no wonder y ppl like it so much..it can relate to the lives of so many people.
    and i guess it relates to mine but not much.
    nonetheless,i loved the poem.
    -dancing_alone
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by _Dancing_Alone_ | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the idea of our lives being a mural that we
    paint. i have certainly been guilty of procrastination.
    latey, though, i've been excited to paint that sky
    in its brilliant hues.

    your last strophe made me think of God, actually.
    there have been times when i've turned away from
    His love and grace..

    they say the devil's big lie is that we have all the
    time in the world. this made me think of that.

    well written and food for thought.

    peace&blessings,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the comparison and contrasts.

    Our lives are murals, large but full of details.

    Brilliant hues bloom in my memory.
    Just a few strokes of his hand
    will make me feel whole

    These are truly beautiful images. I love jumping between the two and carrying perception of one to the other.

    Perhaps you intended that we compare the love to a work of art. By the same rules, I compare art to love.

    Nice stuff

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem, especially the imagery. If I were you, I would have added another stanza about the mural decaying because of the painter's procrastination, but the poem is great as t is, as well. Congratulations!
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by Kalyiel | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent. Most of us go through this life as if it were a dress rehersal and we will get to the real performance soon. Therefore, as you say, too much remains undone. Life flows so quickly. One day you are twenty and the next you are sixty with too much left undone. This moves me profoundly. Perhaps becuase I have so much left undone. Lynn
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an excellent analogy. It is very well written, but it's the idea behind the poem I like the most.

    It's a pity really, all the things we'll never get to do...But your poem makes me want to go do them.

    Thanks for that.

    Lulu la Feyne
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Lulu La Feyne | [ Reply to This ]
      TYhis one I really like
    I believe you are referring to how on this Earth we can never fully complete the puzzle of Life because our Life never ends
    We have another beautiful life waiting for us in Heaven and that is where life lives forever
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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