Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Have Gazed Upon Caesardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jason The Basta
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 191/281/68
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Political
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 627



    Description:
       All hail the emperor! And someone please shoot him if it's not too much trouble.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Have Gazed Upon Caesardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ive moved from the bottom
    To the edge of empire;
    Stood there on a wall
    Amid coiled,
    Razor-scaled serpents.
    I have watched the distance
    With long, unblinking eyes,
    Poised to touch
    The hand of death.
    I have moved amid
    A sea of tents
    Like untold others before
    And beside me.
    I have returned to find
    What remains
    Of the scattered limbs
    I saw planted
    In the road-side gardens
    So popular in Babylon.
    I have gazed upon Caesar,
    With my own eyes;
    Noted his smile
    And lack of scars.




    Submitted on 2006-02-12 16:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ahh the lack of scars. Yup who can call themselves a soldier if they never engage in battle. Pussies. I love pussy but hate pussies! A tyrant or pussy tender foot holier than thou fuhrer(probab spelled wrong) pussy! Now that's more like it. Fun write to read.


    Take care
    6
    | Posted on 2006-12-08 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the title but, one problem is that Caesar was a true general, commanding with his sword in hand on horseback leading his men through campaigns lasting years in far countries. I'm sure he had his own share of scars and the admiration of his men. That's a far cry from any "leader" we've seen since Bush Sr. who served bravely as a carrier fighter pilot in WWII.

    The rest of the poem gives an excellent classic picture of the horrors of war and lends thoughtful pause towards the madness involved. Fortunately, in over eight years of service, the only thing I ever had to kill was a lot of beer.

    To be picky, you don't need to capitalize every line but it seems to be a popular choice at ES. Sometimes it confuses me into thinking it's a new line or sentence.
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      In real life I think Caesar, did fight in his battles. But I get the inside joke of this one. Yeah, we have world leaders that send others out to their dirty work. I'm not naming names, but it is a very good descprition of this person. Others are effected by his rule over us, and he just reaps the rewards. Very clever indeed this write was. I loved it. this is another fav. Oh, I did not see any major faults with this poem. And your flow was great. Lot's of vivid details for the reader to discern a image properly and get the underline meesage of this poem. Excellent job Jason.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      JTB,

    Just to piss you off, this poem reminded me of that overrated movie Gladiator. You know, the one with big Russ stooping from tent to tent at the start... eh, heh, he I can just see your face now.

    Probably the most interesting alluding in the poem is the sense of travel and worldliness of the narrator/soldier. Not only does caesar have no scars, he also had no passport until he made office. Does that not freak anyone else out?

    ...now watch this drive...
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Abzy | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you keep remind us that the leader of this Free nation has caused our friends and family members to give their lives for his own views. This is true for leaders and ceaser was no different.
    The metaphors here are great but the the poem itself is a metaphor. Speak of a man that has forgot his people but you give him an alias.

    This does have a soldiers point of view tattooed all over it. Tent cities I can remember and the I have watched the distance with long, unblinking eyes. poised to touch the hand of death.

    A soldier never forgets.

    Nicely done

    See you on the ground

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      But you realize that if he gets shot, Cheney officially becomes emperor - and lands on the short list for another term on 08.

    Like untold others
    [Before and beside me.]


    Above was the only line I noted was awkward, and I like Alia's suggestion better than what I was thinking. ;)

    The "lack of scars" line was great.

    -Frank

    ps: I know it's a minor point in the larger scheme of the poem, but I like the double alliteration of "moved"-"amid" and "amid"-"a sea".
    | Posted on 2006-02-12 00:00:00 | by FrankBlissett | [ Reply to This ]
      Another love letter to Sir Bush (with the pointed observation that he has never served in a war time army and is, therefore, less than qualified to speak of sacrifice and send young men to battle). Quite honestly, it sounds as if you've observed the president from beyond barbed wire (or in a tent full of wounded as part of a sound bite). You have gazed upon a Caesar that was less than impressive orchestrating an unpopular war, and are certain he has neither conscience nor integrity. Oddly enough, this is so much more restrained than most of your other writes; you've let the metaphor tell the story. Nicely done, Jason. Take care of yourself. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting. Yes, Jason you Basta these are trying times. People are [censored] pissed off and so am I. The funny thing about it, is we don't even know how pissed we should be. This write is full of metaphors, esp. the part where you have gazed upon Caesar , with my own eyes, noted his smile and lack of scars. I hate our President and am so sick of the system. I mean I've been feeling like we should have a civil war for so long, it's pitiful. So darling, did you get into Leo Connellan at all? I've been reading Provincetown, it's angry, it's bitter, it's so great. Only this poet helps me tap into the angst I feel most of the time, lately. I've just been stressed out because I hate math and am getting ready to bomb on a test. I guess, it's my way of sado mascochism-which I am so into. Keep your head up, lovely. xo lilham
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    91060

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry