This was entertaining and would be almost humorous if it wasn't for the fact that it had some outstanding metaphors in it (and I mean that in a flattering way)! This was a delightful walk through some of the lifechoices one must make or consider!
The only critique I have for this is your repetition of the word "but" in the 3rd through 5th stanza's. None of those lines should really begin with that word at all let alone all three of them in a row...
Otherwise, nice job and a good, refreshing light topic for the day...thanks!
I liek how you incorporated all the fairytales in. You made a few grama errors and need to recheck and make sure you keep the same tence throughout all the lines.
Hmmm...to have wealth or to have love? Hmmm...I prefer love then wealth will build off that, ya know? Nice rhyme and I think you did a fine job of making it flow throughout the entire piece. Very dreamy, ya know? Thanks for sharing!
Your spell check missed 'surly' (a word itself) when you meant surely. Otherwise an adorable and very clever poem. I'll add it to my favorites and let you know when I post a similar story I like to tell. It's a bit twisted. Again, very cute and clever.
Hey, this was funny. I like fairy tales . It was original, never seen it before. Not childish, i think you still ha a message. little comment: some lines need some more connection, maybe put some extra lines to connect them better. DZ
Mmmm while there is nothing wrong with the roles we play as women, you seen to have managed the best of all, the poet. This is cute, Denise, I enjoyed the way you roam through the decisions we make about life and do so in a way that entertains.
So next time you're having these silly thoughts again, will you write them down and share with us? Hope everyone is well at your house, sending love,
This is really good You spelled out for us your readers life from a womans point of view Though I am a male I understand where you are coming from with this write Very Nicely written God Bless Ron
Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron
Submission Name: Rhyme of Decison
