Where Nature Meets Passion by Lost Sheep

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Where Nature Meets Passion dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Lost Sheep
ASL Info:	41 M Vancouver, WA
Elite Ratio:	6.24 - 909/772/72
Words:	118

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	311
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	812

Description:
This idea bubbled out in the middle of a comment I made to a poet here.

Where Nature Meets Passion dots

-------------------------------------------

Fresh water meets underground heat
Regular geysers put on spectacular displays
Steaming vents too hot to be beautiful
Trickles burdened with minerals create fragile skyscrapers
Mudpots making blup, bloop, blup noises

Some erupt once never to be seen again
Others put on regular, daily shows

Some of the vents are fresh
Some are extinct after a few releases
Others go on unchanged for years

There’s peace here in spite of the power
Beauty amid the chaos
Energy channeled by form

On a back trail is a small, warm spring called the Lost Sheep
Normally quietly content, occasionally more moved
Now and then finding enough heat to bubble out a poem

Submitted on 2006-02-13 18:58:22 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I enjoy the simplicity of your work. You can take a truth and make it art.
More specifically: I like the 'blup, bloop, blup' stuck in the first stanza. What I really liked is the idea of people being geysers of poetry.

'Regular geysers put on spectacular displays'

It makes me feel like bubbling up and bursting just thinking about it.
The only thing I didn't like was the beauty-in-chaos reference, only because it's been said before. But I'm geting really nit-picky.
Keep on writing!

-The Prince of Tales
| Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Prince of Tales | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi Steve,
Well, you've got a heap of comments on "Where Nature Meets Passion" but I'm going to add mine to the list anyway (and without reading any of the other comments too) :)

Overall, I really enjoyed the depth and complexity of this work (but done it a way that seemed simple and was not difficult to grapple with) – human experience represented through nature in a way that is revealing, telling us something about human behaviour (I felt like I was holding up a mirror). I liked how you used the world/nature to tell us about ourselves/yourself and the nature of human action/reaction/feelings – and then tied it back to the act of writing poetry.

The depth of this piece was evident too in the way it captured the representation of the symbolic "nature" to speak to me (through comparison and images) about the ways in which we think and feel (or how inspiration works inside us).

Some specific comments:

* There is a real feel for telling detail (eg, " Trickles burdened with minerals create fragile skyscrapers") – really apt and clear descriptions like this that allowed me an immediate appreciation for the experiences/behaviours of us/you/people in general
* " Mudpots making blup, bloop, blup noises" – this was a great example of using sound as a language – love it!
* The first stanza was definitely my fav (even if solely for the great comparative imagery – in both a setting sense and metaphor sense), but I also really liked:
" Some of the vents are fresh
Some are extinct after a few releases
Others go on unchanged for years"
This stanza, for me anyway, pretty much captured the (dual) meaning behind your words (or is it simply the meanings I chose to take away?). That is, the inspiration behind writing and the role that inspiration plays AND (something I at least read into it) the inspirations/experiences in our lives that make us behave or influence us in other ways in our life. I just felt like I could apply the poem to my life in general (and not just in respect to writing) eg, how some things we can let go and move on, while other things hang around to consume us or please us or exhaust us and so on.

The ending seemed to me a slightly more peaceful or resolved take on the deeper meaning (and hub-bub of influences). It was very neat how you tied it back to a personal perspective (even though we knew it was there all along).

Only one typo – "channeled" should be " channelled"

Cheers,
TD
| Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by TD | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say, I had no idea where you were going with this until I reached the last part.. but I found it to be interesting all the way through.
And now that I know what it's about, I can "see" in each line the analogies of a writer.
Original work.
I've never thought of "writing" in this way.
I wonder which one describes me?.. let's see.. perhaps I'm one of the mudpots making blup, bloop, blup noises. (lol)

This also reminds me of Elite Skills, and how peaceful, yet chaotic it can be here at times.

At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed this.
| Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  HEY! I like it! Seems like everyone on the site got here before me, but that's ok. Your analogy is so great. What an idea! Yes, sometimes the ideas flow like crazy from one "vent," sometimes they are short-lived, and sometimes they just sit there, stagnant, until the writer can figure out how to use them. (I have had an idea for a certain poem since the summer, but I cannot get more than four lines so far, not even in order.)

I really like "Beauty amid the chaos," because that is totally what it is like sometimes, isn't it? In the mind of a writer, so many ideas bumping together, but when they are finally "channeled" out, they can become a masterpiece.

As I was reading this piece, I was unsure of how to comment, because I didn't want to give the analogy away if you didn't make it clear (so the reader could interpret it how they chose). But I got to the end and saw:

"Now and then finding enough heat to bubble out a poem"

and I thought how it was so cool that you waited until the end - to build up curiousity in the reader, but tell them so they don't go on wondering. Great write.

Oh, and I also like the 'sound effects' - "blup, bloop, blup."

Happy Valentines Day! :)

-Cari
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by prettybaby | [ Reply to This ]
  The idea of poetry being as intrinsic to the poet as the piping system to the city, of poetry being like the gusts of heat and water from that pipework, this is so original, so fresh and exquisitely developed - short and sweet and vivid. I love it. I've a friend whose a builder (with a knowledge of engineering) and a poet, and I think he'd find it sublime.

peace, love and empathy,
Speacenik.
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Speacenik | [ Reply to This ]
  god, i feel like a fool... lost sheep=you... :)

still for me it was a place, not a thing.

like ur work, my friend. like it alot.
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW! what a great visual piece, my friend. u know the line i luv the most = "On a back trail is a small, warm spring called the Lost Sheep"

i have no idea where this place is, or if it is even real, however, that is not what is important. this piece took me on a visual journey. and i've read it a couple of times.

bravo
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
  As a geyser that feels the pressure of a piece building, but can't seem to find the right words to bring the build up to the surface, I really liked this piece.

I love the way you have described the different ways people write and post poetry on E.S. Some of us posting a copuple pieces a day, some posting once a month.

It doesn't matter, as long as you post what you feel.

I feel like saying I love you! (Those words never get old!)

Love,

me
| Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey Steve ,

Beautifully done!! What a creative and wonderfully executed metaphor for different styles and types of poets and poetry.

We all have hopes and fears. The fear of drying up - becoming extinct or never being seen again! Some perhaps too filled with angst and weighted with overly heated emotional baggage. Some go on produceing regular spectactular displays.

I believe, Steve , you are the latter as this piece so exemplifies!!

Steve
| Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
  HEE HEE
Out of chaos comes beauty. I have heard that before but not sure where.
I like how you liken your personality to the geyser.
Still watesr run deep, meaning it is the soft spoken that rage the most or becareful of the silent because they have a huge voice that is sitting dorment until they erupt.
I have seen many Geysers and I have a few favorites too.

There’s peace here in spite of the power
Beauty amid the chaos
Energy channeled by form

This is my favorite line. It says that power and peace can live in the same setting. Beauty and Chaos can be of one. Molded from the the good earth and created to marvel us all.
You are a Nature lover and it has been evident in your writes.
Nicely done

Respect and Admiration

Clyde
| Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
  Ah, a poem about poetry. Your metaphor (poet as a geyser / natural phenomena) is original and well-developed. And I love the "blup, bloop, blup" noises. Not much else to say. I like it. Good job.
| Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Jeremy Six | [ Reply to This ]
  Great volcanic poetry and I love the onomatopoeic mudpots making blup, bloop, blup noises. Sometimes it is those quiet little backwaters that stay longest in your memory and if you are a small, warm spring long may you continue to bubble out heat so that the rest of us can warm ourselves.

lol
nessie
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very good poem. Your writings never disappoint me. I love the comparision here with nature and at the end with nature and yourself. And the way you tied in the passion and bubbling out a poem, kind of a metaphor for inspiration. I like that. The final stanza here is a wonderful personification to yourself. The entire poem is very well written and expressed and the imagery I found here is wonderful. I love geysers with all their mysterious wonderful energy. Nature is truly beautiful and the way you compare yourself to it is lovely. Very good write. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this piece a great deal. I can't say much that hasn't already been said about this. We all have different things that make us sit and write. I really loved the ending to the piece and I hope that you do continue to find heat, cause we sure as heck like reading it. This was a very unique take on things and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!

Candi
| Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a great poem about poetry. And maybe, just maybe, the geyser Lenotoire will start to erupt more often. She has been dormant for a long time. Or maybe it she will just slowly bubble like that Lost Sheep. Who knows?

Brightest Blessings,
Crystal
| Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
  An ambiguous piece of art. I love the simple insightful tone you've taken on while describing that which many would say requires long words and too much thought. Keep bubbling up poems, Lost Sheep. You're sure to find your way.

DeepDreamer2008
| Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.