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making a point

Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 166
Class/Type: Lyrics /Misc
Total Views: 708
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1015


a freestyle i wrote to pass time for all the hatas out there. anyways tell me what you think.

making a point

I need to make a point
no wait it's a confession
thinking you can rap betta
i'm gonna teach you a lesson
down wit young warriors
yea they can out spit you too
down wit BTC
wifey to loc blue
didn't think i could rap
yea i came to fmble
i came to drop that beat
and make yo ass stumble
sitting there mumbling
about how i need to suck ya dick
you need to grow one first nigga
and get rid of that little stick
you got yo rhymes from
a krispy kremes boz
while i wrote my rhymes
when i was on lock
not lock down in jail
but lock down in the house
i'm supposed to be lazy
how 'come yo ass is on the couch
squash that shit
who eva told you i was nice
i can be nice
but it come wit a price
okay wateva
i'm just fuckin gwit you
so turn of the beat
'cause i'm through

Submitted on 2006-02-13 22:38:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I guerss the storry was cool but see if u can ryme 4 lines with each other like

you should ryme the word right here
u know the word in the rear
I started smoking your birth year
and world war 3 is very nere

see is had and to try and make them fit in a beat. u should get a keybord and play a sample and try and mak it fit in the beat. its just a sugestion. Use it or forget it.
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
  well, I guess you have alot of pent up aggression...You express it well...I never understood the whole rap genre but I do recognize it as a form of expression...Very well written in that aspect...The blatent disgracing of the guy you were speaking to was very prominent in the fourteenth line...kinda made me chuckle...keep it up.
| Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Semper Fidelis | [ Reply to This ]
  to simple for me. I would suggest striving for more creativity in your delivery and word choosing. but im just one opinion, everyones different so check out my [censored] and c where im coming from or, find out this opinion has no credibality.
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
  this was alright. the flow in the beginning was good but kinda simple but u kept it throughout most of the rap so it was fluid at least. but towards the end u completely lost it. the end kinda sucked. it seemed like this whole thing was on the surface and there was no deeper meaning to anything that u had to say. it wasn't bad but it wasn't good either
| Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

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