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    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots

    Author: Darkstar9500
    ASL Info:    18/male/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 39/56/19
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Rant/Trapped
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 249

       This is about how my biggest difficulty in life is expressing my feelings. Most of the time I fail and it comes across completely different. So I keep my emotions to myself.

    I want to write poetry. If anyone has suggestions on how to start plz tell me. I want to get into poetry because ever since I met someone I can't express my feelings clearly enough. I hope that poetry will open my soul to hers.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We are all trapped together
    In one room we stay
    Talking about our lives
    We talk to no one else
    Everyone listens, but none hear
    In one room we stay
    Talking about our lives
    Our lives are one in the same

    Submitted on 2006-02-14 02:23:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think its deep. True, it doesnt rhyme, but some of my poems dont rhyme either. Its a good start, but you should keep writing. You can only improve with time, you can never get worse.
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, nice piece. Your idea is not too clear so every one can understand it on his own. The words were good. You tried to use a natural rhythm but it seems to me that it did not work with you. The poem seems to me unrhymed more likely to be a free verse poem. In your line "Everyone listens, but none hear" there is an excellent paradox.
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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