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    dots Submission Name: BattleMedots

    Author: orpheus
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 188/165/57
    Words: 589
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 1273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2318

       this was written for a new site that i am a member of...not deep or emotionally moving but to quote 8 Mile ' You gotta battle' and this is what i came up with...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    new M'C's i leave 'em 'TARRED WIT THE SAME BRUSH'
    i put your spirit on the skillit and 'WATCH THE FLAMES RISE'
    burn your lyrics like a fillet to 'BLOCH THOSE LAME LINES'
    let me guess...you SPRAY NINES and TAKE LIVES???
    i hear through the GRAPE VINE you're only wanted by them GAY GUYS!!!
    who are dressed like police checking your 'PHYSICAL ANATOMY'
    'Blue Oyster' boys aint welcome at the 'LYRICAL ACADAMY'
    plainly stated it would take a'MIRICAL TA BATTLE ME'
    or if Freud were alive he'd say this is'CYNICAL 'N SAVAGERY'
    now you're a 'CLINICAL CADAVER G' so 'REST IN PEACE'
    i'm at the PINNACLE A'MAGIC SPEECH' of the 'SEVEN SEAS'
    so it's 'BEST YA LEAVE' before i take 'DRASTIC MEASURES'
    writting those 'SPASTIC LETTERS' treating rap like 'GAMBLING DEBTORS'
    streaching the truth till your 'ELASTIC TETHERS'
    your throat i'll have you looking like 'ASMATIC LEPERS'
    so you're dope...know what that means in 'REALITY'???
    your fucken stupid like coke up your anal 'CAVITY'!!!
    with you it's always the 'SAME OL TRAGEDY'
    But you don'really 'HAVE A RHYME'
    thinking your heading Sky-ward but you're without a 'SATALITE'
    now you've lost your focus and need a 'CONCENTRATION CAMP'
    with that look on your face like you've got 'CONSTIPATION CRAMPS'
    you're Aladdin with no carpet and a 'CONFISCATED LAMP'
    key speaker without his notes against the 'CONVERSATION CHAMP'

    Submitted on 2006-02-14 05:22:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the topic was not very comprehensive and i dare say the whole poem was a bit too vague. i personally found a sit-back somewhere. a little is it like a rap and can't be correctly termed as a piece of poetry.
    keep writing..
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by wasif | [ Reply to This ]
      An interesting write
    The flow was a little off in places but yiur use of words was very good
    I maybe would consider adding a little more to each line and try working on a beat measure such as 6 beats to each line
    Then your flow would come together perfectly
    Great Job
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought this was really good. the caps helped follow the rhyming but it kinda threw me off at the same time. this whole thing was really good. this is probably the most educated battle rap i've ever heard. this is definitely gonna be a fave
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      arrrrggh i cannot read this poem i tried but i cant. please space it approprietly and then de-cap the capped lines. this looks more like rap lyrics than a poem. but the parts that i did read were really good i liked it but it hurt my brain to read it in that context please change it so i can read it.

    a fellow poet
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Harmageddon | [ Reply to This ]

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