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    dots Submission Name: For a Valentinedots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 428


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    dotsFor a Valentinedots

    She loves the brandy, candied ginger,
    Open eyes, glistening, and tender
    Because they will warm and comfort her

    Touches of intoxication
    Stealing her reason and restriction
    A massage with rubbed-in love potion

    This is a night played out to a plan
    To be a loved and lucky woman
    Beyond borders of fantasy land

    Crossing the line for a valentine

    Submitted on 2006-02-14 07:46:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      OK, I've read it for a fifth time...amazing what we miss when we read a poem...do we read way too quickly? I guess so.

    I see what you mean, it's not sad at all, with nothing hidden, I had it totally wrong. I guess what really threw me was the line "crossing the line" I still don't really get that.

    Thanks for putting me on the right track

    be happy

    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Boy, you need to read this a couple of times to take it all in!

    A very sad story, and very well written, too. I like that it leaves most of the detail for the reader to fill in, that's good, as you set the mood up perfectly in the first two stanzas.

    Excellent work, sad though it is.

    be happy

    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree
    This write actually does give off a feeling of a dream come true
    It was a pleasyre reading such a beautiful write
    Great Job Chrystine
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      it sort of sounds as though you decided to stop dreaming and settle for the one right under your nose, but it also sounds as though it's not so bad after all! I enjoyed this very much. I am curious to see how many post valentine's day stuff today. I had to do one myself, although it's not a very happy one. ah well. perhaps I need to cross the line too.
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, Valentine's Day ...
    it does seem to bring out the romantic poetry. I regret I didn't post a love poem yesterday.
    This was nice and enjoyable to read. I like how it starts out, with the brandy and ginger..

    My favorite line.. "Touches of intoxication
    Stealing her reason and restriction"

    Hope you had a Happy V-day, Chrystine.

    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      It sounds like the girl is getting drunk in oreder to get laid, for Valentine's Day. If this is personal, hey whatever works for you. Replinish your brandy though. lol. this was very well written. I not completely sure if I'm right about the meaning, but I like the one I came up with, so I will stick with it. lol. You had the reader focus on her habits not her mood, and left it up to us to grasp what was going on...very clever. Great job.

    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I thought this woman is getting intoxicated to be bolder and find love at a bar on V-day.

    Then I read again and it strikes me! This is about an older woman trying to seduce her husband.

    A woman trying to bolden up to pull her companion out of the warmth and into the heat of the love they once felt.
    That man gave her love and comfort she wanted to feel the sensuality again, the massage serving as an introduction to a world of love making.

    She is crossing the line or taking the initiative to re-ignite the fire that has calmed down.

    Nice write although the rhyme seems a bit forced in the 3rd stanza.

    Still a good piece though
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]

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