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    dots Submission Name: defeatdots

    Author: Tinasha
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Oklahoma City
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 100/142/41
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 958
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 432

       yeah, i dunno....trying to make sense out of what's going on around me right now. seems like things just keep happening at me and not to me, and i never understand until it's too late. but by then i've blown my chance and i've laid in a hole i haven't even thought of digging yet. get back up...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A bird that flies and falls

    flies no more

    get back up and try again

    try again you quitter!


    try again you wimp...

    ...just a waste of a miracle

    Submitted on 2006-02-14 14:16:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this, other than the word Wimp... i dunno, i just think something else stemming from quitter would be better...on the other hand, this only proves that you can say so much with so little.

    as far as laying in holes yet to be dug, i say screw it, play around in the dirt, get filthy, and enjoy the peace and quiet while you're down there. you might find that your holes arent as bad as what you thought they were
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      Not much of a poem lengthwise for a hungry critic to get his teeth into, but some things in life are the briefer the better. I dig all bird poetry. Check out my Blackbird poem, for the bird that got up to fly away and lived to eat worms another day. If you want to help birds, never wash your windows.
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece a lot...A LOT. its breif. but brevity is good, but it is precise also...even better! great job! i like the feel and the message conveyed and the way you presented it.

    i think this one is going on my favorites list!

    great write!
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]
      well let's just hope the fall doesn't kill the bird--and also most birds die in flight so...............well ya know-but the message here is real and accurate and I can see it is self inflicted . Meaning about you I'd bet--a struggle or something in life that merely has us running crazy. Like a chicken with our heads cut off. the struggles we have in life layrae....only build us into the person we will be tomorrow...stepping stoes of life is all they are...unless you die----then your bummed---lol----stepping stones=saved miracles
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]

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