[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: incompletedots

    Author: Leon Kennedy
    ASL Info:    15/m/La
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 51/75/22
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 600

       i dont know. have not written in a while. tried a new rhyme scheme. tell me how much it sux. thanx.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    why did you leave me waiting at the alter,
    why couldnt you go through the trouble of,
    telling me i was not your true love,

    i tried doing things that were comforting,
    i tried to escape to my dreams,
    i wanted nothing else than to be whole again,

    but to do that i would need my heart back,
    and i just cant ask you for the thing i need,
    for that would make me too full of greed,

    so i will continue all my suffering,
    ill spend the rest of my life forgetting,
    that im not complete.......

    Submitted on 2006-02-14 20:05:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "and i just cant ask you for the thing i need,
    for that would make me too full of greed"

    Was my fav line. You did a great job with this one also! I can relate to it. But not going into details here.
    Anyway, you did great.
    *Walks away, tear in eye*
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      hey! this is really good! um.. thers no rhyme scheme though unless kaila is missing something! but its was still good! it waz meaningful to me and it meant a lot to me! its a fav! did this happen to u? i think leavin someone at the altar is rude and embarrasing! and a TOTAL waste of good money! anyway good job!
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really good.
    i love the topic but no rhymn sceme but that all gud cos its a really meaningful poem even though there is no rhymn sceem.
    any way good one
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Brat05 | [ Reply to This ]
      It was good I can some what relate , I gave my heart to someone , but they did not return the faver , so I think it depicts your feelings well
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by pasardspandora | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]